Realtive partner

[Long Post] Zukunftsplanung

2020.08.24 10:38 xTris_Tan [Long Post] Zukunftsplanung

Hi /Finanzen,
seit nun ein paar Wochen bin ich Mitglied dieser Community und würde gerne mit Euch einen, für mich jedenfalls relativ großen Schritt in unsere Zukunftsplanung diskutieren.
Zuerst einmal würde ich uns gerne kurz vorstellen. Ich, sehr bald 34, Angestellter als IT'ler. Nettoeinkommen ohne Bereitschafts Zahlungen etwa 4500€. Meine Frau, aktuell in Elternzeit, bezieht Elterngeld (900€) und Kindergeld. Unser Sohn, 5 Monate alt, aktuell arbeitslos. Seit 2018 wohnen wir in unserem Haus. Die monatliche Rate beläuft sich auf 2000€. Aus recht komplizierten Gründen mussten wir kurz vor dem Einzug einen realtiv fetten PK aufnehmen. 50.000€ (666€ / Monat auf 7 Jahre - Restforderung Aug. 2020 ca. 36k€).
Das sollten erstmal die wichtigsten Eckpunkte sein ;)
Durch unseren Versicherungsmenschen wurden wir an einen seiner Partner von einer großen Baufinanzierungsgesellschaft vermittelt, weil ich mich so langsam aber sicher mit dem Thema Altersvorsorge auseinandersetzen möchte / muss. Gleichzeitig aber auch für unseren Sohn ein bisschen was für die Zukunft ansparen möchte. Vor dem ersten Termin mit besagtem Finanzmensch habe ich mich parallel durch diverse Youtube Kanäle gefräst. Wobei man dann unweigerlich sofort auf das Thema "ETF" stößt. Sein Plan war jedoch die Erstellung eines Depots und den Kauf eines aktiv gemanagten Fonds. Schon beim ersten Blick auf die Kosten dieses Fonds war mir nicht ganz wohl dabei. Letztendlich haben wir uns dann für ein Online-Depot einer beliebten Bank entschieden und besparen nun seit 1 Monat einen kostenlosen ETF-Sparplan (aktuell 120€ / Monat).
Nun aber zum wichtigeren Thema: als dann das Thema "Depot" vom Tisch war sind wir relativ schnell auf unser Haus gewechselt.
Wie lange läuft die Finanzierung noch? Frühzeitiger Wechsel möglich? Haben Sie sich bereits einen guten Zins gesichert usw...
Im ersten Moment waren wir etwas überfordert aber haben ihm dann letztlich doch alle notwendigen Papiere zur Prüfung mitgegeben.
Vorschlag #1:
Den Privatkredit sollen wir mit einem Produkt, bei dem man 29k € sofort nach Abschluss bekommt ablösen. Ebenfalls werden von dem Baufinanzierungsunternehmen 29k€ in einen Bausparvertrag eingezahlt. Vorteil: die ersten 28 Monate zahlt man nur 56€ Rate, dann über 9 1/2 Jahre jeweils 290€ / Monat. Die Differenz zu der Restsumme (PK) würden wir von unserem Ersparten bezahlen.
Was haltet ihr von solchen Produkten (Turbo-Darlehen...)? Klingt das sinnvoll oder sollte man sich lieber um einen günstigeren Kredit mit längerer Laufzeit umschauen um von den hohen Raten wegzukommen?
Vorschlag #2:
Die durch das o.g. Produkt entstandenen freien monatlichen Reserven sollen wir in einen so groß wie möglich angesetzten Bausparvertrag (> 150k€) investieren um diesen dann 2032 für unsere Anschlussfinanzierung zu verwenden. Hierbei wäre das Timing aber so dermaßen knapp, dass mir das Konstrukt etwas Bedenken macht. Zuteilungsreif wäre der BSV etwa 4-6 Monate vor Ende der Zinsbindung unserer Baufinanzierung. Je mehr ich mich damit beschäftige, desto weniger bin ich davon überzeugt so viel Geld monatlich in etwas zu 'investieren' um mir einen vermeintlich guten Zins zu sichern. Zudem sind einfach die Kosten (AG, Provision, etc.) ziemlich intransparent und dazu noch sehr hoch mMn. Mal abgesehen von dem lächerlich niedrigen Guthabenzins.
Was gäbe es für Alternativen?
Jetzt ist mir auf jeden Fall bewusst, dass Reddit nicht besonders auf Finanzberater abfährt. Für mich jedoch war das ein perfekt getimter Schubser um mich ebenfalls auch selbstständig mit dem Thema Finanzen auseinander zu setzen. Ich hoffe ich kann mit dem Beitrag eine Diskussion entfachen um mir in der weiteren Planung unserer finanziellen Zukunft Sicherheit zu verschaffen.

Vielen Dank für Euer Feedback und einen guten Start in die Woche!
submitted by xTris_Tan to Finanzen [link] [comments]


2020.06.27 23:53 ordinaryguy451 I don't feel safe

Hi, I'm a total looser, I'm 24 yo have been in therapy since I was 17 due to an overdose that lead me to the ER, I have no friends and no siblings, as I kid my parents and I moved here from another citty (In wich one I had a lot of friends) In this town I have never make any friends (or ay least some interesting ones)in this Town(In wich I still live rn), everyone was so mean and no one seemed to be outside of the box and since I'm gay everyone started to reject me since I hate sports and girls never were nice either, my parents used to be upper middle class and I was in a private school with a lot of rich kids which parents where really nice cultured people, and my classmstes were also very cool, I never developed any social skills since elememtary school, and my parents are toxic and abusive, so I had bulling at school and abuse at home and I have depression since I was like 10, and my teachers were also assholes who moked me in front of the class when I had to do presentations several times and I got really nervous, It tramataized me a lot wich I still think about how humiliated I felt. I started rejecting people and society in general since I was in high school, I came out but started meds after the overdose I went nuts for like 4 years my family thinks I'm lost cause, I gain a lot of weigth like 30kg and no one wanted to date me, now I loose some weight, I live with some realtives but still I have nothing to talk about, I have done absolutely nothing the past years besides work and going to college (in wich Im graduating at 28 fuck my youth) and I have nothing, I don't like carrer I'm in, I'm alone, fat, poor, and have no one who wants to be with me. I have no skills or talents because I have been working on fast food places, restaurants, etc, there's nothing I can offer to have money. I don't feel safe at all, or a home to come back, or friends, or siblings, or money, or anything that is important, I just want to feel secure about myself, and I can't be since I never have any stability at all growing up. It pisses me off people claimig their "wEIrD" or 'have' aNxIEty when in reality their just basic, and have zero emphaty for the ones that actually have It. By the time I finish writing this my meds for my anxiety just kiked in, so I feel better now lol, but I don't want to take meds who make me feel like I give a fuck about everything. Reality sucks for some people.
I also daydream a lot at the point I don't relize if I'm talking or not about the situations in my mind, chronic depression gave me a speech impediment that make me sound even weirder, sometimes I don't belive we have free will, the things I have done and who I am are the result of that domino effect, so do everyone else, (YES even the succesfull people) So, why people hate death so much? I don't think suicide Is bad at all, and this Is not the 'illness' speaking.
I'm already gay, nature basically Is telling me I don't have to reporduce since there's too many people already (yes thats how I justify being gay, and I don't have any issue with that part, I think Is some bug in our genes or something, having kids sucks, ain't slaving myself to death so someone will have their dreams come true at the cost of my own hapiness) also hate the fact that straight people are so narcisistic about reproducing and think thei're going to be the exception, and in reality every single couple who have kids think thei're going to be good parents , like havent you seen the world? Do you really want your grandchildren living in those cage homes like in Japan because there's no fucking space?
The things Is that I became super embittered, and grumpy, this Is not who I thruly am, I just want a boyfriend, thats all I really want, and suck to listen to people cheating or jumping in to relationship after relationship and don't even think about it, I wish I had a boyfriend so I can send everyone else and society to fuck themselves, I really think I don't need anything besides a partner, and I can't have It either, so, I don't know what I'm I supossed to do in here.
submitted by ordinaryguy451 to SuicideWatch [link] [comments]


2020.04.22 15:22 sassafras_assafras Dead trees and the fae

Hi everyone,
I'm realtively new, but have had a magical inclinations since I was a small child when I would leave gifts in the garden for the fae. I've returned to witchcraft after a long time away. My partner and I recently bought our first home with the intent to create a small farm/homestead. There are a number of trees on the property that are severely damaged or just plain dead and I want to know the proper protocol for removing them or the dead portions so that I don't disturb any fae. I feel like they probably know those trees are dead, but I want to make sure we can honor their lives together. It's such a shame because they are such old trees, but it is the way of things and I think they were without care for so long.
Any help is greatly appreciated.
submitted by sassafras_assafras to apprenticewitches [link] [comments]


2019.04.15 14:54 BexBaelish Transition panic

First post ever, which 99% is going to be rambling, here we go.
My partner of more than 7 years figured out after a year of questioning in late-October that she's trans (MtF). I love very much and I support her. As life is, this happened in a very awkward moment when we have been openly discussing getting married, but we happen to live in a country where there is no same-sex marriage, and legal transition cannot be done while being married. So this meant having to come out realtively early to close relations and friends, which apart from the stress went somewhat well, as well as you'd expect where being transgender is somenthing super foreign.
On my side, this situation broght up a lot of repressed and bottled up feelings about my own queer identity: female presenting, but have been struggling with non-binary feelings since forever, starting out as a lesbian, moving to being bi, and now settling on pansexual. We're pretty young (22), got together at 15, so I spent my teenage years presenting cishet, so apart from her coming out I have my own issues coming back and slapping my in the face big time.
So why did I call this post transition panic?
She figured out her stuff late October, has come back from studying abroads mid-February. I have no idea how this works in other places, so here's how transition works here: If you've been having the trans toughts for two years, you get a statement both from a psychologist and a psychiatrist which states that you are not mentally ill apart from being transgender (which is a medical condition here, yes). Then comes a shitton on medical examinations. You supposedly need to change your legal gender before getting HRT, but not a single case has been evaluated since the GDPR (so last summer), they are currently at the European Court of Human Rights. Then you go to a gyneo for HRT, which can be taken for a year at the longest, as this is not the cute US medication, this pill can damage organs. :) And then it's either bottom surgery, or only cutting the parts which supply the testosterone. (more or less)
Where we're at, she already has the psychiatry paper and receives the psychologist paper this week, altough nowhere near the 2 years mark. The thing is, she want to get the medical examinations started this or the next week. And this is what gives me the "transition panic": whereas I do understand that she wants to transition asap, I'm just really afraid of everything, of the reactions of the family, of her VERY male-centric university, where she has one more semester at lest, but will probably stay for 2.5 more years, I feel like I would need more time to adapt (to what, I don't know), and I'm having a freak out day overall.
Friends are accepting, but know nothing of the topic, her mother is in the weird state of wanting to be supportive and wanting to be protective (which means preventing transition in this case).
Just WTF in general? Leaving the country is not an option for another 3 years.
submitted by BexBaelish to mypartneristrans [link] [comments]


2019.01.21 18:55 dolchmesser Ending relationships because my poly leanings hurt primarily mono partners.

I'm a noob. I decided I was poly/open after 4 years in a committed mono relationship and tried to communicate and gently open boundaries and it worked for a time, until I actually found someone else I enjoyed emotionally and then it suddenly and catastrophically did not work for my partner.
I entered my next relationship being very explicit about desires to be open, and despite auspicious beginnings eventually got a good deal of pushback. My partner was also sexually inexperienced, realtively speaking, so I tried to be gentle. We went to munches and kink events and dated couples and I encouraged my partner to date other people in hopes they might feel some of the spark that I feel meeting new people, but they never did and couldn't ultimately condone the spontaneity I desire. So, despite liking this person a lot and having had a lot of fun, I have to shitcan it. Right?
It's difficult to acknowledge that this desire should supercede and force apart otherwise decent, compassionate relationships. And yet I think I now know this to be true. I'll reiterate that I'm a noob. I feel poly despite having never successfully been a part of a poly dynamic. I still have a lot to learn about communication and knowing myself and my values and being forthright about them in a way that is clear but also compassionate.
I would appreciate any perspective, even if it's a smack upside the head.
submitted by dolchmesser to polyamory [link] [comments]


2019.01.06 13:48 sunrays6 Need of advice from married people on choosing a life partner

TL;DR Would you settle and make best out of what you have got or would you take risk and try harder? Not that I will blindly follow one's advice but it will help me to take good decision.
I'm from middle class who is an introvert, well groomed, fit and active. Having varied interests and hobbies keeps me occupied esp., travelling, trekking and photography. Working in a small IT startup I earn enough to live a comfortable life.
My parents have been trying to get me married for the past 3 years. Coming from a small city, my family is moderately conservative. They definitely want a bride in same caste and matching horroscope. Most preferably in same city so that they can know well about bride's family background. We are signed up in matrimonial sites also. The selection process is usually this: my parents check for kundli match and girl's family, out of which I choose one that's looking good, then if both families agree do we have a meeting in a temple. That's when I look for matching personality.
Parents are dissatisfied and already tired of me as I'm picky. They expect me to choose the one just with good family and kundli match. They don't care about personality and the appearance. Met couple of potential bride vis a vis with family in a temple who were good looking but are boring "family girls" who doesn't have passion for anything nor did they show interest in what I do. So we didn't proceed.
Recently I met similar one. We talked for 15 mins. It was me talking most of the time. She asked about my job, do I own car, can I cook. I try to understand her from her daily activities. She was like home-to-work, work-to-home in weekdays and may visit malls in the weekends if not visiting hometown. There wasn't much of similarities other than both of us are in software industry. Her realtive was rushing to end this talk and she didn't have anything to talk. Their family and girl instantly showed their interest to proceed. I held my parents, who were also interested, and said we'll go home and reply.
It was difficult for me to decide life partner within few minutes. I want to know many other things including whether she can keep herself healthy and fit in the future, whether she is interested to accompany me for weekend trips, etc. Made my parents to call them and ask for a casual meeting in a public place. They refused and will allow further talks only if I say yes. Pretty conservative and probably they fear I might reject after the talk and it'll be a shame for them.
I'm gonna hit 30 soon. It's considered past marriageable age by many. So, fewer opportunities. Also skewed sex ratio! I'm confused shall I settle for this (like Bojack says ) or take risk and look out further. I appreciate your advice.
EDIT: To provide better context, I don't have much of social circle. There are few male friends with whom I hangout occasionally and travel. They also don't have girlfriends. Actually they don't care about it. My introversion wasn't helpful to find a life partner. I have had couple of relationships in the past whom I met through dating apps. They lasted few months to a year. If it were strong, I would be determined to marry irrespective of parents' approval. But no. Time is ticking more loudly now.
submitted by sunrays6 to india [link] [comments]


2017.11.15 11:52 Marahwyn 1 year on mtf hrt! Yoye I am so happy that I want to share this with you, guys! <3

I just wanted to make a quick update on my mtf hrt transformation as it's just been 1 year since I started taking hormones finally! I could change my name officially too 2-3 months ago and I can finally live my life the way I always wanted but have never been brave enough.
It's been a rough year as basically I had leave my family because of the hatred I faced every single day at home from all of my realtives (apart from only one that I really love, she's my cousin). They basically verbally abused me on a daily basis and I could not leave my own room because they immediatly started to say that I am psychotic and I had a "mental illness" just because I was transgender. That was so shit I had to start taking antidepressants as well but I am so glad that I could gather enough power inside to say that "Fuck you then!" and left them with a little money and basicall with one huge bag. I found a flat and started teaching with awesome students who helped me a lot and saved me from doing terrible things to myself. Just like my partner who was always on my side and will be always there, we love each other, this was the thing that gave me such motivation that I could change my life. I love her for that! <3
So since then I talk with my family like one time in every 4 months but it's good because I am healing my wunds and starting to focus on things that I really love doing like (writing, teaching people, playing LOL, yea I love it, EUW's the best! :P ) so I feel like I can start to really find myself as I could get rid of the pressure of not being myself for sooo many years.
Eventually I could change my name officially 3 months ago after a 1 and a half year long struggling procedure. But you know I don't care now! I don't care about my family either. I found a new one! One of my adult students turned out to be in the same situation but from a mother's perspective as her daughter is also transgendered. She supports me and helps a lot, I love her, too.
And that's it. I am getting happier and happier month by month and I just wanted to share my happiness with you, guys so this may help others who suffer from making this very difficult decision. You can do it! You have one life you should not waste it! Be brave and life's gonna help you when you need it!
Goodbye everyone, have a wonderful day! <3
https://imgur.com/a/xDVK0
submitted by Marahwyn to MtF [link] [comments]


2017.09.01 19:15 SpiritSongtress Aphon Noa-Centaurs & Humans- Developing a world through Roleplay

I have a world I've created and really enjoy writing in, but I would like one or more roleplay partners to bring it to life (and help me flesh it out more), here's a little about it
1) Centaurs are the native species and life form.
2) Humanity was brought over by the Primal Goddess PRimordea (oldest of the Primals), around 600 years ago after the human gods abaonded them and their world. Since they are not native to the world, they cannot use magic, and natural magic of the world builds up in their bodies and finally kills them at around age 55.
The Centaurs around 400 years ago created a Rite to make humans into Centaurs, and after 100 years it was successful. It can be done in small numbers is realtively safe. The Rite itself allows centaurs to conceive a child, and tie the human's soul to the newly conceived body, slowly migrating the soul over the period of the pregnancy. 3) Around 300 years ago some humans broken from the Centaur (Noan) society and established their own lands up in the northern mountains- where they awakened two gods of their own: The Ard Ri and the Ard Rion () The High King & High Queen), and many became the Eillid, the Elkfolk. Some humans live as the Outlanders, with the Eillid, waiting for the day to when they can become native folk of the world, their saved their ancestors. 4 )The Technology level is a cross between Victorian & 1920s, with a smidge anachronistic stuff. The hope is to flesh out the Centaur society more, if anyones interested drop me a line. I've written plenty of information if people are interested in reading. It would mostly likely be played through Google docs, and focus on development of the society, and those Chosen Humans, and their Chosen Mothers, or the young centaurs who've been reborn and are now of schooling age, with some timeskimps and the the like. 
submitted by SpiritSongtress to Roleplay [link] [comments]


2017.07.14 15:49 sayitjustsayit [Event] BBC Central America: Breaking news - National State of Mexico implicated in indigenous atrocities.

Broadcast scheduled for: BBC News at Ten Breaking News on BBC 24 Breaking News on BBC World Service (in all communicated languages) - subject to Asian provisos on coverage of internal conflict Audio transmitted through BBC World Service
Information to be shared across the Associated Presses
H: Huw Edwards J: Jesús Alfredo Guzmán Salazar Fernandez Juan Cervantes De Mogrovejo y Arroyo A: Anonymous interviewee T: Translation B: Hillary Benn Italics: BBC Television Centre
5...4...3...2...1...Live
H: Recent evidence discovered by the BBC in the Mexican civil war has uncovered atrocities committed against Maya indigenous peoples in Yucatán and Oaxaca.
And cue opening
H: We go now to our correspondent Jesús Alfredo Guzmán Salazar Fernandez Juan Cervantes De Mogrovejo y Arroyo live in Belmopan. Jesús tell us what is going on there.
cut to Belize
J: Well Huw we've had confirmed reports of from members of the Maya community who have fled across the Belizean border that they have become systematically targeted by members of the National State of Mexico. We've had reports of civilians being gunned down after breaking arbitrarily enforced curfews and reports of children being attacked to control family groups acting against the National State.
overlay image spread of Mexican fighting, cut back to Jésus
J: The Maya people have lived in this region for millenium, and there has been a long history of conflict between the Mexican government and the Maya people. It appears that the self described fascist NSM have built on this history and are acting with increasing aggresion against the Maya people.
H: Has there been any statement from the NSM as yet?
J: Huw the nature of the NSM's non-legitimacy makes communication very difficult but we have tried to reach out through American military lines. The twist in the tail will be whether or not the Western Confderation denounce these actions as the British government is sure to do. Many political analysts have found the lacklustre efforts of the Western Confederation to be a signal that they are ready to stand down to NSM forces...
cut to footage of headlines and editorials
J: ...and many currently speculate that the Western Confedration's failure to strike back, and rumoured oppositions to international support, show that there is no opposition or drive to fight against the NSM's fascist ideology but instead the conflict has become more about territory.
back to Jésus with superimposed territorial map
J: Should the Western Confderation fail to condemn these actions the conflict could take a surprising turn.
H: Is speculation regarding the Western Confderation well founded?
J: We have seen a realtively poor performance militarily so far even with the resources provided through their American backing. Many have said this shows no real desire to fight against the NSM, and I would argue that the Confederation seem more than happy to let the NSM slowly grind them down. The Maya I have spoken to seem solid in the belief that none of the three remaining factions have any regard for their historic and well fought for rights, and the reports and accounts coming in describing NSM actions would seem to support that view.
H: Thankyou Jésus. We previously interviewed one of the leaders of an affected Maya community under the condition of anonymity, here is that footage.
Cut to interview sequence, impose images bottom right showing conflict footage
A: Un toque de queda fue impuesto en...
quieten audio and play sombre male translation
T: A curfew was placed on our town. We were unable to leave outside of daylight hours. They treat us with suspicion, yet our friends in other towns and cities have no such restrictions. They are run like a militia, with little regard for the rule of law. I broke the curfew as I had left some goods at my shop. I was caught and...
return to recorded audio, kill translation
T: [the sound of light crying] mi hijo... mi hijo
quieten audio and resume translation audio
T: my son, my son, they beat my son so that I "would learn my place" they said. We are scared and helpless and the world does not help us. America, a country that almost exterminated it's own native peoples are the only nation that is helping us in this fight. We can do nothing and they treat us as if we are nothing.
return to recorded audio, kill translation, play Jésus audio over images of his silhouette crouched over sobbing as an assitant comforts him
J: This conflict has seen many casualties, it is a fight for a nation with five factions becoming three. There have been yet unproven accusations of support from South America, many Maya have heavily implicated Brazil but most global political commentators think it unlikely Brazilian assistance would exist while the country faces another round of eocnomic turmoil. But finally and most importantly, this civil war does not represent these peoples, who wish to live with freedom and without fear. These people who wish for their families and livlihoods to be safe.
A podium is being moved to the entrance of Whitehall, we may need to wrap up soon Huw
The multiple indigenous councils and various federative groups across Mexico, and particularly the Southern regions, have yet to issue any official statements but it is clear from the people we have spoken to here that they have little hope for a...
H: sorry Jésus but we go to Foreign Minister Hillary Benn making a statement outside of Whitehall.
cut to Whitehall
H: The United Kingdom, in response to evidence passed to the Foriegn Office and collected by the intelligence services, condems the National State of Mexico. We will shortly be making a formal statement to the NSM and will continue to support the legitamte government of Mexico in the Western Confederation. Acts of brtuality and barbarism against a people, though commonplace throughout the history of fascism, will not be ignore by this government and we implore our international partners to address this issue. The government will reach out further to Belize and Guatemala as reports surface of Mexicans crossing the borders in growing numbers. This civil war has begun to destabalise a region and the United Kingdom will not allow mexico to return to the racial caste system of decades past. [Benn does not wait for questions and returns to Whitehall]
cut back to Huw
H: For those just joining us evidence and testimony has been uncovered suggesting racially motivated violence against civilians in the Yucatan region of Mexico, currently under the control of the National State of Mexico. Mayan people who have fled to Belize have also given accounts of violence against children. The BBC will return to this story as it develops.
transition to RP election story
As the first Regional Peers election...
submitted by sayitjustsayit to Geosim [link] [comments]


2016.01.28 05:32 SmarkInProgress House Party 01/25/2016 [Part 1/3]

WiR House Party E58 / Charlotte, North Carolina / January 25th, 2016

We go live to the Escape Charlotte as the crowd goes nuts. KSJ signs fill the arena as music plays and lights are flashing.
Paisner: Hello everybody and welcome to House Party! I’m Allen Paisner, and with me as always is Mark Woodbridge!
Woodbridge: Tonight, we are officially gonna know two more matches for Same Shit Different Year, as the eight remaining teams in the RAW TTT duke it out for a coveted iPPV semi-finals spot!
Paisner: Some of then are engaged, some of them are tenured, and some of them are brand new, but all of these teams are legit contenders to win the whole damn thing and tonight they’ll get one step closer to doing so!
Woodbridge: Enough talking about it, let’s get right into it!
Babaganoush: The opening contest is scheduled for one fall and is a quarter final match for the Rodgers and West Tag Team Tournament! Your referee for this match WiR's Junior Junior Junior Official Ms. MIA SO HUNG!
Crowd: YAAAY!!
Mia giggles and blushes, flashing a peace sign out to the Charlotte crowd.
Babaganoush: Introducing first at a total combined weight of 465 pounds... CHARLIE KRIEGER & SAM HALL!
"Sam Hall" by Johnny Cash begins to play. The burly, man's man Sam Hall steps out from the back first and almost immediately hocks a loogie on the floor right on small child's pair of vintage light up L.A. Gears. The child begins to sob and buries his head into his father's chest. Charlie Krieger appears soon after Sam Hall sporting sunglasses and black t-shirt, firing out "fingerbangs" to the crowd.
Crowd: BOOOOO!!
Woodbridge: How did they settle on who's music to come out to?
Paisner: I did. Kendrick Lamar sucks.
Woodbridge: Fair enough.
Paisner: Krieger and Hall were lucky enough to earn themselves a bye after Jack Anchor and Owen Mercer no showed.
Woodbridge: Earn a bye? They did nothing for that. Anchor is going to be seeing some stiff fines comes his way for affecting TWO advertised matches last week because of obsession with ZOMBIE CARSON.
Paisner: Enough about that. Let's focus on the two men inside the ring and how they may or may not work together. Krieger would appear to be a man with psychotic tendencies boiling just beneath the surface.
Woodbridge: He's a cup of milk shy of being a "cereal" killer so to speak.
Paisner: Rrrriight. And then you got the hard working, man's man Sam Hall. A dairy farmer and former bare knuckle boxer in Russia . The man knows what it takes to pull yourself up by the boot straps then insert said boot sideways up his opponent's candy ass.
Woodbridge: Ain't nothing pretty about Sam Hall. Unless you got a thing for mutton chops.
Hall and Krieger enter the ring, having not even said a single word to one another. Ring Announcer Javier Babaganoush looks visibly disturbed as Charlie Krieger stands uncomfortabley close to him as he takes his sunglasses off and puts them on Javier.
Babaganoush: Haha... okay... thanks. Uhh... I wear my sunglasses at night... woo... uhh... and their opponents! Being accompanied down to the ring by SAUL HOLMAN. Weighing in at a total combined weight of 489 pounds... the team of DAVID "Darth" BADER & JAMES DAWES!
Crowd: BOOOO!!
No Church in the Wild begins to play as Saul Holman makes his way out first followed by his client David Bader, with James Dawes bringing up the rear. Bader immediately goes into his shadow boxing routine as he bounces down the aisle while Dawes sporting a sweater and shorts glumly walks with his head down behind.
Paisner: Bader and Dawes looked impressive last week dispatching the dastardly Mark Dutch and the pungent Dewey Needler.
Woodbridge: No shock here. Bader has been and will always be a prize fighter. The prize up for grabs is the RAW TTT tournament. If he needs to high five some shlub to get it then so be it.
Paisner: That shlub is James Dawes who... shares a striking resemblance to the kid from Transformers.
Woodbridge: Mark Wahlberg?
Paisner: No. The first Transformers.
Woodbridge: Bumble-Bee?
Paisner: Damn it, Mark. No. Dawes is a rookie here in WiR and hopefully by swimming in the sizable wake of David Bader he can begin to make a name for himself and give us an opportunity to learn more about him.
Woodbridge: Besides the fact he resembles a Volkswagen Bug.
Paisner: Charming, Mark.
Dawes and Bader leap up onto the ring apron. The former tossing his sweater into the crowd. Mia So Hung runs her hands along each competitor's boots checking for foreign object before signaling for the bell.
DING DING DING
Paisner: Here we go! It'll be Charlie Krieger starting off with James Dawes!
The two WiR rookies meet in the middle of the ring, and James Dawes starts taunting Krieger.
Woodbridge: Neither of these teams are well-liked, so it’ll be interesting to see who the fans get behind in this match.
Paisner: That’s if they even get behind anybody at all!
Woodbridge: Well, Dawes is already making a good case for the fans to root for Krieger with this terrible impression he’s doing.
In the ring, Dawes is mocking Krieger by doing a very poor impression of him (and for some reason in a British accent).
Dawes: OY! I’M CHARLIE KRIEGER AND I’M A BIG DUMB–
Before Dawes can finish his horrible bit, Krieger violently shoves him down and Dawes slams down to the mat and rolls out of the ring.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOO!
As Dawes holds his chest and tries to regain his composure, David Bader and Saul Holman look at him with frustration.
Bader: Are you kidding me? You’re taking a breather because of a damn shove!
Holman: Get back in there, young boy!
Dawes slides back into the ring and hesitantly lunges for Krieger, but Krieger catches him with a headlock takedown and keeps it synched in on the mat. Dawes manages to get to his feet and he shoves Krieger off using the ropes. Krieger runs across the ring and rebounds off the opposite ropes, charging at Dawes with a lariat. Dawes ducks it and Krieger keeps running, hitting the ropes again and colliding into Dawes with a shoulder block. Dawes gets shoved back into the ropes and rebounds back into Krieger’s waiting arms, where he catches him with another side headlock takedown.
Paisner: Nothing more effective than a good headlock, Mark!
Woodbridge: Almost everything is more effective than a headlock, Allen.
Paisner: Can’t you just let me put over moves without being argumentative?
Dawes makes it back up to his feet once again and reverses the hold into a headlock of his own, but Krieger uses the ropes to shove him off. Dawes rebounds off the ropes but Krieger runs perpendicular and runs the ropes himself, and both men find themselves criss-crossing as they continuously runs across the ring and bounce off the ropes. However, Krieger stops the criss-crossing by simply putting his foot down in front of Dawes and causing him to trip.
Paisner: Nothing more effective than a good trip, Mark!
Woodbridge: Shut up.
Krieger grabs Dawes and locks in another headlock. With a headlock yet again synched in, Hall reaches out for the tag.
Woodbridge: Looks like Hall wants some of the action!
Paisner: These two haven’t been the best of friends since they came into this company, but if they have one thing in common, it’s that they love to hurt people.
Krieger thinks about it for a moment before dragging Dawes to his corner, tagging in Hall. Hall enters the ring as Krieger shoves Dawes into the corner.
Hall: You grab one arm and I’ll grab the other!
Woodbridge: Sam’s barking orders!
Krieger follows Hall’s instructions and they both pull Dawes out of the corner by his arms and whip him hard into the opposite corner. Without giving Krieger any notice, Hall grabs him by the scruff of his neck and spins him around, launching him shoulder first into Dawes in the corner!
Paisner: Assisted shoulder block by Hall!
Despite being taken aback by the move, Krieger shrugs his arms and rolls out of the ring. Hall drags Dawes from out of the corner and to the centre of the ring, where he clocks him in the jaw with a stiff fist.
Woodbridge: Hey! That’s a closed fist! He can’t do that!
Paisner: It’s not the 80’s anymore Mark, you can punch people now.
Dawes goes to the ropes for safety, but Hall just strikes his across the chest with a big chop that rings through the arena.
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOO!
Dawes stumbles towards his corner and Hall grabs him with a front face lock, tagging back in Krieger. Krieger enters the ring and Hall whips Dawes right into him, and Krieger takes him down with a stiff forearm!
Woodbridge: Looks like Hall and Krieger are starting to work together!
Paisner: Well, we said before that they aren’t very fond of each other. But a part of life is having to work with people you don’t like, and when a shot at the RAW TTT trophy is on the line, you need to set aside all differences.
Right away, Krieger lifts Dawes back up and whips him into a stiff boot from Hall! Krieger rolls out and Hall goes for the cover!
…1!
Dawes kicks out!
Bader: Come on you little shit, stop getting your ass beat!
Paisner: Bader seems to be getting a little pissy, doesn’t he?
Woodbridge: Well, his partner has gotten exactly zero offence in. I’d be pissy too!
Bader leans over the ropes to berate Dawes some more, but Krieger grabs him by the legs and pulls him off the apron!
Crowd: OOOOOHHH!
Woodbridge: And Bader gets uppercutted by the apron!
Hall cracks a smile at Krieger’s tactics, and he waits for Krieger to hop back onto the apron before tagging him back in again.
Paisner: Man, these two are really tagging in and out a lot!
Woodbridge: Well, this is their first match together. It looks like they’ve started to appreciate each other’s talents when they aren’t directing it against each other!
Hall holds one of Dawes legs while Krieger holds the other, and on the count of three, they both pull them to the side!
Paisner: Ouch! Dawes just got wish-boned!
Bader, having had enough of watching a one-sided affair, charges into the ring at Krieger and Hall! But Hall lifts him up and plops him down on top of Dawes like a sack of potatoes. He grabs both of their left legs and Krieger grabs the rights, and after giving each other a slight smirk, they give Dawes and Bader a tandem wish bone!
Crowd: OOOOOOOHHH!
Bader rolls out of the ring as Krieger and Hall hoist Dawes into the air like a picnic blanket, slamming down on the mat! Krieger goes for the cover!
…1!
…2!
Dawes kicks out! On the outside, Bader is holding his groin on the entranceway looking extremely displeased. His manager Holman is whispering into his ear aggressively.
Holman: We don’t need this shit! You’re a singles star, not some tag team pansy!
Bader nods his head in agreement as Holman leads him back to the curtains.
Paisner: It looks like Bader is walking out!
Woodbridge: This is what happens when you put random teams together! Sometimes they click, and sometimes they don’t! Oddly enough, the team we thought wasn’t going to click is clicking so much that they’ve un-clicked the other team!
Paisner: You have a way with words, Mark. Not a good way, but definitely a way.
As Bader heads backstage, Hall and Krieger smirk as the completely battered and bruised Dawes is left all alone. Hall lifts Dawes up to his feet and throws him into Krieger, who plants him face first into the mat with a standing cutter!
Crowd: OOOOOHHHH!
Krieger rolls out of the ring and Hall locks in the seated stretch muffler!
Paisner: He’s bending the poor kid like a pretzel!
Without any hesitation at all, Dawes furiously taps out.
DING DING DING
Javier: Here are your winners via submission at a time of 7:27 and moving on to the semi-finals of the RAW TTT tournament…CHARLIE KRIEGER and SAM HALL!
Krieger enters the ring and comes face to face with Hall. Hall flashes him a small moustachioed smirk.
Hall: You ain’t so bad, kid.
The two shake hands and leave the ring side by side, with poor little James Dawes left all twisted and beaten on the mat.
Paisner: Well, when the tournament started, I don’t think anyone thought these two would be able to work together to make it to the finals. But dare I say it, it looks like we have a new dark horse team!
COMMERCIAL
The ring is decked out with a tikki bar stylings. There are two small potted palm trees on either side of high bamboo stools. There is a bamboo bar set up just behind those stools. On the bar is a sign: The House of Bamboo. Flowery, island drinks are scattered on the bar. Javier Babganoush stands slightly to the left of all this.
Javier: Ladies and Gentlemen. It is my genuine pleasure and privilege to introduce this wrestling legend to you all. One of the all time greats of our business, WiR proudly brings to you: Soho Joe!
The song hits and Soho Joe struts his way out from behind the curtain. He pauses for a few seconds, gazing out into the crowd as the audience erupt in worship for the wrestling legend. Joe carries on to the ring, high fiving everyone on the way. They're so close, he can get everyone. He reachses ringside and walks around the ring slapping hands and drinking in the crowds adulation. He walks up the steps to the apron and pauses looking down at the commentary position up behind the crowd. He smiles and points.
Soho Joe: You my boy, Woodbridge!
Woodbridge: I love ya, Joe!
Joe steps into the ring and takes the mic from Javier, who graciously bows. The music fades and Joe stands in the middle of the ring.
Crowd: Soho Joe! Soho Joe! Soho Joe!
He raises his arms and the crowd roar.
Woodbridge: A master at work.
Joe waits for the crowd to die down. They do and he raises the mic to his mouth.
Joe: Some folk might be wondering, wat's old Joe doing in WiR. Well, I've always been proud of the fact that I can read this business like a book and I know where the cutting edge of pro wrestling is, and it's right here in WiR!
The crowd roar once more.
Crowd: WiR! WiR!
Joe: So, i got out of my comfortable home in Malibu, CA and I dug my old set out of storage and I hopped on a plane to Charlotte, North Carolina!
Crowd: Yaaaaaaayyyyyyy!!
Joe: And here we are! Welcome to the House of Bamboo!
The crowd roar once more. Joe has worked the crowd into a frenzy. He gets serious.
Joe: I broke into this business at the age of seventeen in 1955. I swam with all the sharks in wrestling. I ran with Monaco, Brogan, The Original Shah, The Iron Shah, Terry Soul, even Verne Von Jarrett. In my years, I made few friends. But one of those friends was the late, El Sloth. We were such good friends that I stood with him at his sons christening. I helped him break the boy in and I stood by his sons side when El Sloth was laid to rest. Now, last week, my friends son, El Hijo Del Sloth, was attacked and brutalised in this very ring. So, my first guest on the House of Bamboo in WiR is: El Hijo Del Sloth!
Joe points to the entrance as Sloth is slowly wheeled out by his son, Sloth Jr. El Hijo Del SLoth is in a wheelchair, wrapped in bandages. His head is wrapped up and his arm is in a sling.
Paisner: El Hijo Del Sloth was nearly murdered last week by the debuting Bobbi "Furiosa" Faye. It was a surprise sneak attack by Faye, who had tricked Moxie and everyone else into thinking she was lucha sensation Maria Hernandez.
Woodbridge: I knew something was off, but nobody ever listens to me.
The Sloth men reach the ring and take their time getting in, but they finally do in the end. Sloth Jr wheels his dad to the cnetre of the ring. Soho Joe hugs El Hijo Del Sloth.
Woodbridge: Of course those two are two time ZWO tag team champions.
Paisner: What?
Woodbridge: Wiki.
Joe and El Hijo Del Sloth break their embrace. Joe stands up. He is almost overcome with emotion.
Joe: Don't take this the wrong way man, but, you look like shit.
Sloth laughs feebly. Pain shoots through his body.
Joe: How are you doing man? What do the doctors say?
Joe holds the mic down to Sloth's mouth.
Sloth: Thhhheeeeeeeeyyyyyy sssaaaaiiiiiiddddd thaaaaaaaaattttt Boobbbbbbbbbiiiiiiiiiiii Ffffffaaaaaaaaaaayyyyeee huuuurrrrrrrrrtttttttt myyyyyyyyy sssssppiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeee. Iiiiiiiiiii mmmaaaaaaaaayyyy nnneeevvvvvvvvvverrrrrrrr wwwwaaaaaaalllllkkkkkkk aaaaaggggggggaaaaaaaaaiiiiinnnnnn.
The crowd are stone silent. One or two yell out words of encouragement, but most fear the worst.
Joe: Sloth, if Bobbi Faye were here right now, is there anything you would want to ask her?
Joe puts the mic back to Sloth's mouth.
Sloth: Whhhhyyyyyyy?
Joe pauses and lets the difficulty of SLoth's words hang in the air.
Joe: Sloth...will you ever wrestle again?
Before Sloth can answer, a wave of panic runs through the crowd. The all begin to turn in the same direction. Joe looks up, shocked and annoyed. The camera searches the crowd before finally finding her. Bobbi Faye stands behind the crowd, staring at Sloth with undisguised disgust. The crowd part and let her go past as she finally starts walking to the ring.
Woodbridge: This woman has made quite the impact in WiR. She may well have ended the career of El Hijo Del Sloth.
Paisner: And the question on everyone's lips is: why?
Woodbridge:** Well, some people might be wondering why she doesn't have music.
Paisner: Well, she technically hasn't signed a contract yet.
Faye saunters down to the ring. She never takes her eyes off Sloth. She walks around the ring. A methodical pace, heightening Sloth's terror. His eyes are wide as he faces down the woman that broke him. She finally slithers into the ring, over the bottom rope. Sloth Jr steps between her and his father, but Bobbi puts him on his ass with a straight jab. Sloth Jr hits the mat and rolls out of the ring. Bobbi stares down Sloth. Soho Joe backs slowly into the corner, allowing Faye to have the ring.
Faye glances over Joe, he swallows hard. A sinister smirk spreads across her face. With the ferocity of a freed tiger, she knees El Hijo Del Sloth in the face. The blow knocks him out of his wheelchair as he tumbles to the mat. His nose broken, blood spews out of it, staining the ring mat.
Woodbridge: Oh man, she's got some evil intentions.
She begins to act out her evil intentions, stomping away at Sloth. She rips his arm out of it's sling and Sloth howls in pain. Bobbi lays him flat on his back and leaps high into the air, dropping a knee on the side of his face. Sloth whimpers in agony as blood and tears mix together on the canvass. He reaches up, pleading with her to do no more damage. She reaches down and grabs his hand. She begins wrenching at it, until she has freed his ring finger. With a swift twist, she breaks it effortlessly. She carries on and works out his pinkie finger and snaps it. Sloth screams in pain. Joe looks away.
Paisner: My God. She's going to break his fingers one by one!
Faye starts working on Sloth's middle finger.
Woodbridge: No! How will he be able to express himself to ingorant drivers?
Before she can get it out, the crowd begin to buzz. Sloth Jr comes back from behind the curtain as fast as he can. He is dragging someone out. Someone to protect the downtrodden innocent Sloth. A hero: Erik Von Jarrett! The crowd erupts as EVJ's eyes go wide at the injustice going on. He races to the ring.
Paisner: Here comes the cavalry!
Faye releases Sloth, as Erik slides in under the bottom rope and stands over Sloth. He stares Faye down. She doesn't blink. Erik, takes a grappler's stance in defense of the innocent.
Woodbridge: Everyone knows EVJ has a code of honour against hitting women. But he'll wrestle the shit out of one.
Both stare each other down. EVJ is seen aying something that isn't picked up by the cameras. Faye stares through him stone silent.Finally Bobbi begins to nod. The crowd are electric as Bobbi Faye...walks away.
Crowd: Boooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!
Faye backtracks slowly towards the ropes, not taking her eyes off Erik. Once she gets there, she turns and glares at Soho JOe, who quickly scurries to another corner. SHe finally steps out of the ring. She and EVJ don't take their eyes of each other until she is out of the ring. He spins around, takes a knee and checks on Sloth. Faye seems even more annoyed now. She works herself into a frenzy on her way out, letting out a wild scream.
Paisner: Oh! She seems more pissed that EVJ is checking on Sloth, than she did at being interrupted.
Erik scoops Sloth up into his arms and takes him out of the ring. He carries Sloth to the realtive safety of the back. Faye seethes with barely restrained rage. Soho Joe smiles and nods.
Paisner: Quite the WiR debut for the House of Bamboo
COMMERCIAL
Babaganoush: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall and is our second bout of the quarter finals of the Rodgers & West Tag Team Tournament! Your referee for this match, WiR Junior Junior Official - Ivan Itchicock!
The crowd gives Itchicock polite applause. He bends over to take a bow and rips loose a wet sounding fart.
Crowd: BOOOO!!
Woodbridge: Ivan doing no favors for himself tonight.
Paisner: Poor Javier.
Babaganoush: Ugh... introducing first at a total combined weight of 554 pounds. STEPHEN ROMERO & "The Rising Phoenix" ROBERT WARLOCK - THE WARLORDS!!
"Seven Nation Army" by The White Stripes plays as Stephen Romero storms towards the ring ignoring the fans while his partner Robert Warlock gladly slaps the fans' hands as he makes his way down the aisle.
Paisner: A few more cheers, but still a mixed reaction for the self proclaimed Warlords.
Woodbridge: Grinding out fan favorites The Coffee Boyz in the first round may not have won them any hearts, but it was downright impressive to see these two men actually function as a cohesive unit.
Paisner: They're putting in the work. Doing what it takes to be a successful tag team in this industry. Chemistry with one's partner is a must and if there is one thing to be said about these two - they're trying.
Woodbridge: The first step to failing is trying.
Babaganoush: And their opponents! At a total combined weight of 415 pounds... they are the WiR WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! JIMMY CHONGA & JIMMY CHONGA JUNIOR - LOS CHONGAS!!
Crowd: YAAAAY!!
"La Bamba" by Ritchie Valens plays as the roof of the Escapade nearly explodes for the lovable Los Chongas. The father and son duo jog down to the ring with the Tag Team titles strapped around their waists, slapping fans hands as they go.
Woodbridge: Damn, these boys are over like rover.
Paisner: The slow burn and the unlikely ascension of Los Chongas to the top of the tag team mountain has been quite the story. They defeated WiR Tag Team of the Year of SUENO but they'll have their hands full tonight with the newly formed Warlords. You got to think a non title victory for Los Chongas here tonight would put Romero and Warlock in line for a title shot in the future.
Woodbridge: That's conventionally how wrestling works, yes.
Paisner: Itchicock has asked both teams if they're ready to go. LET'S GET IT ON!
DING DING DING
Romero and Jimmy Chonga start out for both teams. They lock up and Romero shoves Chonga clear across the ring on his ass towards his son.
Romero: I want Junior!
Chonga gets back up and charges at Romero with a big haymaker that connects. Romero shrugs it off and blasts Chonga in the face with a right forearm shot followed by a "THIS IS SPARTA!" boot to the chest that sends Chonga flying into his team's turnbuckle.
Romero: DO IT!
Junior offers to tag in and Chonga shakes his head no to his son and pulls himself up slowly from the turnbuckle. Romero just shakes his head and looks over to his partner Warlock.
Romero: Fucking wetbacks, man. Don't speako no englisho, am I right?
Crowd: YAAAAY!
Jimmy Junior, having had enough, slaps his father and back and springboards into the ring connecting with a picture perfect forearm to the side of Romero's head.
Paisner: "La Bamba" from Jimmy Junior! Romero down to one knee!
Jimmy Junior hits the ropes and comes rocketing back at Romero just getting to his feet. Romero tilt-a-whirls Jimmy around but the young Chonga manages to hook his head with a flying headscissors that sends Romero face first into the turnbuckle.
Woodbridge: Jimmy Junior has been on fire ever since Mexico!
Paisner: Some new found confidence for the former World Champ!
Woodbridge: Struck from the record books! Come on Pais, you were there.
Paisner: He got to touch it. Its more than you can say, Mark.
Junior comes flying at Romero in the corner with a running drop kick. Junior rolls backwards and sprints forward for another running dropkick but Romero manages to move out of the way. Junior crotches himself in between the middle and top turnbuckle and Romero slingshots himself off the second rope and pierces Jimmy Junior's sternum with a diving double foot stomp.
Crowd: OOOO!!
Romero tags in Warlock and immediately hoists Jimmy Junior up in a reverse fireman's carry before bringing Chonga's face down hard for a facebuster from Warlock for Double Argentine Facebuster
Crowd: OOOO!!
Paisner: "Execution" from the Warlords! Warlock with the pin!
1...
2...
Jimmy Chonga breaks it up with a stomp to the head!
Woodbridge: Whoa-ho! Warlock didn't like that one!
Before Chonga can dip back out of the ring, Warlock hits him with a running knee to the back that sends the older Chonga tumbling to the outside. Jimmy Junior staggers to his feet and Warlock hits another running knee to Jimmy Junior's face. Junior bounces off the ropes right back into a series of palm strikes and slaps to the face from Warlock.
Paisner: Warlock peppering Jimmy Junior with a quick strikes!
Woodbridge: He looks like he's being riddled with bullets!
Warlock hits a spinning back fist followed by a swift snap kick to the gut that drops Jimmy Junior to his knees.
Paisner: Warlock bouncing off the ropes - Shining Wizard! NO! Jimmy Junior somersaults under it!
Jimmy pops back up and connects with a desperate Pele Kick that stuns Warlock. The Rising Phoenix stumbles into his corner and tags in Romero at the same time Jimmy Junior lurches forward and tags into his father getting back up on the apron.
Woodbridge: Chonga looking for retribution for earli- OH SHIT!
Crowd: OOOO!!
Romero steamrolls Jimmy Chonga with a Spear as both men collide in the center of the ring. Romero gets to his feet and starts doing the Mexican hat dance around Jimmy Chonga.
Romero: I DANCE! I DANCE! I DANCE! AROUND THE MEXI-CAN'T!
Crowd: BOOOOO!!
Paisner: What a jerk.
Romero grabs Jimmy Chonga by the legs and starts to swing. And swing. And swing Jimmy Chonga with the Giant Swing. Round and round Jimmy goes, the crowd stops counting after over a dozen revolutions.
Paisner: Junior's had enough!
Jimmy Junior springboards into the ring and leaps on Romero's back and starts pounding away with elbows to the back of his neck. Itchicock tries to yank Jimmy Junior off but Romero knocks the official away with the older Chonga's body, refusing to stop the Giant Swing.
Woodbridge: Chongas showing some edge!
Paisner: And here comes Warlock!
Warlock scrambles up to the top rope, waiting for the perfect moment. He leaps off and connects with a missile dropkick to the back of Jimmy Junior on the back of Romero, still swinging Jimmy. What results is the proverbial car wreck. Jimmy Chonga goes flying one way while Romero and Jimmy Junior launch towards the ropes. Romero goes tumbling over but Jimmy Junior manages to hang on and land on the ring apron.
Crowd: THAT WAS AWESOME! clap clap clapclapclap
Warlock gets back to his feet and spies Jimmy Junior on the ring apron. He charges at Jimmy Junior who thrusts his shoulder in between the ropes and connects to the solarplexes of Warlock.
Paisner: Jimmy Junior springboard onto Warlock - NO! ASAI MOONSAULT TO STEPHEN ROMERO ON THE OUTSIDE!
Crowd: YAAAAAY!!
Warlock surveys the damage to his partner on the outside when he gets blindsided by a Jimmy Chonga Senior crescent kick to the jaw. Warlock falls into the ropes and Jimmy Chonga hits the ropes on the opposite side. The older Chonga comes charging in with a flying forearm.
Woodbridge: FLYING BURRITO!
Paisner: NO! BIG BACK BODY DROP TO THE OUTSIDE!
Crowd: OOOOO!!
The older Chonga flattens his son and Stephen Romero on the outside after the Warlock back body drop. Jimmy Chonga begins to stagger to their feet as Warlock coils in the ring, ready to strike. He hits the ropes and hurls himself over the top rope in a Space Flying Tiger Drop onto Jimmy.
Crowd: YAAAAAY!! THIS IS AWESOME!
Paisner: The Rising Phoenix rising to the occasion here on House Party!
Warlock gets to his feet with a noticeable limp. He grabs Jimmy Chonga and struggles to lift him up to his feet. He gets Jimmy to the apron when Jimmy Junior attacks him from behind with a double axe handle that runs Warlock head first into the steel post, busting his lip wide open.
Woodbridge: LOS CHONGAS! Showing some edge with those tag team titles around their waists!
Jimmy Junior pauses for a moment to watch the blood trickle from Robert Warlock's mouth. As Itchicock's count gets to 5.
Jimmy Junior: Senor Warlock... lo siento. I did mean- UF!
Paisner: Romero!
Romero explodes into Jimmy Junior and the two men go crashing into the crowd amongst a sea of chairs.
Woodbridge: Forget about opening a can. Romero is tapping a keg of whoop ass on Jimmy Junior!
Crowd: YAAAAAY!!
Paisner: Jimmy Chonga to the rescue!
In a feat as rare as a star going super nova, Jimmy Chonga sprints to the aid of his son, he manages to leap up onto a still standing steel chair and launches himself off it, connecting with a flying forearm smash.
Woodbridge: YES! YES! FLYING BURRITO!
Romero goes spilling even further into the crowd as Itchicock's count reaches 10. The older Chonga gets to his feet and starts wailing away on Stephen Romero with stomps on the outside.
Paisner: This is getting out of hand!
Jimmy Chonga: YOU WILL LEARN RESPECT FOR ME AND MY SON!
With one final stomp Romero catches Jimmy Chonga's boot and flings him backwards, Jimmy Chonga's head clipping the back of a steel chair. Romero stumbles to his feet only to be met by a charging Jimmy Junior.
Jimmy Junior: PAPA!
Paisner: "Tequila Shot" Spinning Heel Kick from Jimmy Junior! Itchicock's count is up to 15 and Warlock is... where is Warlock?
Woodbridge: OH MY GOD!
Jimmy Junior pulls his father to his feet just as Warlock comes running across the bar of a nearby balcony and leaps off. He goes soaring through the air with a sweet flying cross body from near 15 feet in the air.Jimmy Junior shoves his father away at the last possible second but ends up getting obliterated by the 234 pound Robert Warlock.
Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
All four men lie in a pile of blood, broken bodies and chairs.
Paisner: The humanity!
Itchicock: 19! 20!
Itchicock signals for the bell just as Romero gets to his feet in the crowd.
DING DING DING
Babaganoush: As a result of a double count out this match is a DRAW!
Crowd: BOOOOO!!
Romero: WHAT!?!
Romero picks Jimmy Junior up off the concrete floor and chucks him like a lawn dart through the nearest Fire Exit. He turns his attention back towards Jimmy Chonga who throws a steel chair into his face.
Crowd: OOOO!!
Woodbridge: Jimmy fighting for his boy!
Chonga tackles Romero through the same fire exit Romero threw his son, knocking the door off its hinges and dropping Romero on the frozen concrete of Charlotte, North Carolina. Chonga gets back to his feet, almost in shock at what he's done. He looks over the body of Romero, his breath but a cloud in the freezing temperatures, only to get a running drop kick square in the back from Robert Warlock knocking him into the street on the outside and tumbling into a snow bank.
Paisner: Both teams now brawling out into the snow! This is madness!
The camera tries to catch up with the four men as they brawl into the winter storm in just there wrestling tights.
Woodbridge: Holy shit I'd be freezing my nuts off!
Paisner: Folks we'll try and keep up with the Warlords and Los Chongas. Wonder what this means for the tournament what with the draw and all.
Woodbridge: At this rate its tradition for RAW TTT matches to never happen, right?
Paisner: Good point. We'll be back folks!
COMMERCIAL
"Magic" by B.o.B starts to play in the Escapade Charlotte. The crowd jumps to their feet as Kevin Scott Jackson walks out from the back to his new theme music. He smiles, slapping hands with the fans as he walks to the beat.
Paisner: Kevin Scott Jackson is here in Charlotte and the crowd is loving it!
Woodbridge: He's from here, Pais! Even though he's gone Hollywood, this is still his home!
Jackson takes a selfie with a fan before sliding into the ring. He waits for the music to die down and asks Javier for a mic. Jackson stands in the center of the ring and adjusts his sunglasses.
KSJ: There is one thing on my mind, and that is the Carolina Panthers going to the Super Bowl!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
KSJ: Because Charlotte is the greatest city in the world! Charlotte is the city I grew up in and Charlotte is full of winners! I have the gold medals to prove it.
Jackson pulls his medals out from under his hoodie and shows them off. He takes off his sunglasses.
KSJ: I worked hard and earned these medals while wrestling and representing Charlotte! All the tournaments, regional, state, I did it for us! The Panthers are going to do the same thing and get that gold!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
KSJ: When you work hard, when you keep pounding, you get what you deserve. You earn it! I have always worked hard and trained harder. I fought back from injury, and even though I was knocked down by Buster Bravado-
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
KSJ: It's alright. I lost, but I got right back up. My other accomplishments were not overlooked. I was approached and offered a movie deal, and of course I said only if we film it in Charlotte!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Woodbridge: Now isn't Jackson such a nice guy?
Paisner: He loves his city, but he doesn't have that big Hollywood ego... yet.
KSJ: I am real grateful for this opportunity, but I have to do certain... things because my producer says it's good PR. That's why last week, after losing to those assholes The Reapers-
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
KSJ: That's why I shook Jack Flash's hand. Do I still want to kill him? Absolutely. I definitely want to go off script with him. And another thing from last week that I want to address is Mark Dutch.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
KSJ: You came out and attacked me last week after my match, after the main event of House Party! I don't know what your fucking problem is, but I want to finish what you started! Get you ass out here now!
Kevin is focused on the entranceway, walking from left to right as he waits for Dutch to awnser, which he does after a few seconds.
“Man in the Box” by Alice in Chains hits and slowly but surely, Dutch walks out, the psychopathic look that was in Dutch his eyes now gone and now replaced by eyes staring at an annoyed and angered Dutch.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mark makes his way to the ring and, before entering, stands by the apron and signals for Kevin to take a step back so he can enter. Kevin complies and walks back before Dutch enters and gets himself a microphone.
Dutch: We meet again, Jackson. How’s your head? Still aching a little?
Dutch laughs to himself as Kevin looks on, his arms over each other and waiting for Dutch to awnser his questions.
Dutch: You want to.. finish this? Already? On the second houseparty after the Christmas Special and two episodes away from SSDY. Kind of a weird timing, don’t you think so, dumbass?
What I did to you last week was just the beginning. That moment that I finger banged you in the middle of that ring..
voices in the crowd: Wait, what? what’s going on? what’s he saying?
Mark Woodbridge has a hard time holding in a chuckle on the background as Dutch looks confused around, Kevin smirking from ear to ear, close to fall down laughing.
Dutch: I.. finger banged you, right? I placed my finger gun against you and let the gun go bang..
Dutch, obviously not really aware that finger banging means something different, begins to slightly lose it as the crowd continues to snicker at the man they once hated, now the man they all pity slightly for being a dumbass.
Dutch: How about, each and every fucking one of you shut the fuck up right now or i’ll fingerbang KSJ again.
submitted by SmarkInProgress to wrestlingisreddit [link] [comments]


2016.01.10 22:22 Davejr8 Long story but need advice. 20/m dating a 20/f on the verge of a breakup.

So I know this is long, but I think all the information here is necessary.
Some background on my traits that may have contributed to this mess: I am protective, OCCASIONALLY insecure and jealous (like once a month if that), and a realtively friendless at my current college (transfer, many acquaintances).
This girl was like magic to me from the start. She was my friend at first, but we grew so close that I finally ended my strung along ex relatationship and started dating her. She told me she knew she loved me within a month of me asking her to be my girlfriend. Unfortunately, her past and my behaviors scared her into believing I am a controlling boyfriend, which turned her friends, family, and acquaintences against me.
Before our relationship: My gf had a troubling childhood with an emotionally neglectful/very controlling mother. She then got into a relationship with a dude who was very insecure and set rules for her, went through her messages, and told her who she could and could not talk to. I had some jealousy issues myself growing up due to a lack if self confidence, but most of those issues cleared up by the time we became friends. I come from an alcoholic single mother in poverty home, with a very distant relationship with my father, who chose to start a new family and practically abandon my brother and I. She comes from money (200k a year plus household), though her mother never gave her spending money for clothes (besides a small allowance) so she complained that she would have to save and buy her own growing up. I too had no money, but it was literally because my mother was so bad with money we were on welfare twice. She also had family issues with her step dad and a drug addicted father, who is still a big role in her life and whom she claims is one of the most loved people in her life (the other top 3 include me and her half brother).
So we have issues.
I was supportive to her from the start, and at first everything was normal. We had a great summer together, and when we returned to school things seemed to be good. I told her I lived her under the starlight on a beach in Maine. Though, she did rush to have sex with me rather speedily (4 days after her I asked her to be my gf), which I thought was unusual. She stands by the fact that I am her third only guy she slept with, and I believe her, even with the LOADS of dudes that have tried with her.
The first controlling behavior I got blamed for was letting her know how I hated the fact that she talked to this one guy. They had been sexually active (oral) just recently before our relationship, and she expressed to me how she went along with The sexual activities with him in the hopes that he would one day decide to date her. This was a red flag. I told her she either had to stop hanging out with him or I walk. Personally I couldnt handle the stress of thinking she still might have had feelings for him.
She brought this up with her friends. One of which developed strong feelings against me. Her friends are all hardcore feminists, they believe in independence as the key to life. I think that relationships require a give and take in terms of time, which her friends were growing angry at since she would spend the majority of her free time with me during the semester. I am a transfer and have few friends on campus with no car to visit my old friends at a nearby college, so they blamed my social loneliness on this fact. This only intensified when I looked to move out of my double into a single, and the only one on campus I could find was beneath her suite where her friends all lived. She thought it might have been too fast to be living so close, but my roommate was a real nuisance and I wanted to be able to have perminent piece in a single, so I went for it even knowing it might not be the best for the relationship. I asked her friends before I did this if they were okay with the move and they said yes (with exception to that one friend).
So then I moved in and we were all happy, I even hung out with her friends from time to time. Then the next "controlling behavior happened." Alot of My gfs friends are lesbians, and we hung out with this one couple and the girl we are friends with's gf was permenently checking My gf out. She would make comments frequently about her body and how beautiful she was. I let these comments slide. This girl obviously was very mean to me (saw me as competition I guess lol). One day we were hanging out I had enough and called her out on it, and she denied it claiming that "she loves her gf" and would never hit on my gf. This girl also asked us if we were open to "swapping partners." My gf defended her when I made accusations that she was hitting on my gf.
Did I mention she is a little naive?
My gf is sweet to everyone, but she can be bad at picking up certain cues. Either that or the fact that she hates confrontation made her defend the other girl. Or maybe it was her just thinking I was jealous. Idk maybe you could tell me.
So this lesbian girl who was hitting on her was always trying to play truth or dare with us. I knew exactly where this was going. She dared my gf to twerk (she has quite the booty). I called her out, angry this time. Basically my gf again defended her again, for in her mind the angry one is always wrong. So annoying. The lesbian tricked me then. I was duped! She said it was an innocent dare and then asked me if I would do it. Now I was again high, but I replied "No, Im not gay why would I do that." Now I committed hate crime. I immediately knew how stupid a response like that was. My gf ran off with the lesbians and I was left holding my dick.
Oh the best part is yet to come on that evening!
My gf's friend who hated me that I mentioned previously comes rolling out drunk and gets in my face, telling me I'm a "controlling douchebag" "insecure" you name it. I for some reason believed her. I was higb okay? I started apologizing to everyone and even shed some tears. The night ended soon after, with my gf being on watch by this drunk friend, who was about to get laid from some dude she met on tinder. (This girl is a massive slut and bitch to her ex who is in love with her, using him for sex while fucking 100 other dudes).
So the next day it was time to talk about breaking up. I was really fucking annoyed at myself for the comment I made about relating being gay with twerking, basically pissing on the gay pride rainbow the females eyes I was dealing with.
I made another comment earlier suggesting my gf should not eat an ice cream sandwich because it would not be good for her diet, which she took as me controlling her again. I simply was trying to help her with the goal she made a day before that to lose weight.
This combined with the controlling behavior from the lesbian interactions nearly broke us up. We had too much love though, and kept pushing for eachother.
Her friend who hated me quieted down eventually. I think this friend, as some of my friends agree, wants my gf to party with, and possibly hook up with (she's bi and my gf had a few hookups with her old friends).
Then I noticed my gf was being more distant, deciding to go away on school breaks, and not wanting me to go on the alternitive break trips with her that I qualified for. She then decided she did not want tk be in the same labs as me for the classes we took together next semester. Thinking back on it, maybe this was her hint that she didnt want to be with me. I made a big deal out of these blocks to see me, which led to me being called controlling, again. She would always do this after consulting the situation with her friends. I gave in and said fine after a few days of arguing. I didnt like the fact that she was pushing me away, but I can see how she wanted space for herself. The biggest kicker was her excuse for wanting to be alone was to get closer to "other people." Ill touch on this in the end of this post.
But then, everyday, she would text me constantly, say she loved me, spend hours with me when we had free time. We went on dates, hiking, and toked here and there together. I did not like her going to fraternity parties with her friends for all the dudes that would harass her, and neither did she now being in a relationship. When she went out with her friends she would leave early to hang out with me.
So now she had her predispostions to thinking I was controlling. And I hated every time she accused me of it. In my mind I was not setting rules, limiting her, or anything like that, I was just trying to enjoy time with my gf. I guess it would have been easier if she had less friends, or I had more on campus.
Then the final blow - kinda. One night after I pulled an all nighter to finish a paper and worked all day we made plans to hang out. I looked forward to this truly. She said she had hw to do but right after to come up. I played an online video game while I waited, and when she told me to come up since she was done I was only halfway finished with the game. When I completed it she moved on to other hw and did not want to spend time with me.
Now, I assumed this hw was optional, and as such when I returned to my room expressed how I thought it was a little unfair to stand me up like that. We argued for a little bit, and in the end she told me in was mandatory and that she forgot about it. I still dont think it was mandatory, for it took her an hour of replying to tell me that. Plus, I knew the assignment was for her lab professor she worked for and she had a week window to hand it in. It was the first day of the week. She was not seeing me out of spite.
The next morning we got breakfast together and, while still overtired, I had to listen to her call me controlling again. These next few actions I want to warn you do not reflect my normal non-chalant and mostly amused character. I told her "you are really going to call me controlling?" And I told her "FUCK YOU." To which a few tables near us heard me say as I stokd up and walked away. I had a rush of insecurity that morning before I said this. I counted 8 dudes stare at my gfs rear, which was disheartening for she was being cold to me and presented herself as though she was single. She walked far in front of me to not be seen as a unit. After I told her fuck you I sat far away and finished breakfast. I still watched her from a distance.
So this insecure and pissed off creature I was nearly made her extremey embarassed and pissed as well. After setting down a little bit I went to reconcile a few minutes later, saying I know I should have kept my cool, but she ignored and walked away from me. Then I was pissed again. I followed her about a hundres yards back to our dorm building, trying to talk fo her, admitting that I should have not said those words. She said nothing. I stepped in front of her a few times. She said later I "wouldnt let her escape" and that I was "stalking." Meanwhile she actually just wore a bitch face the entire time.
I questioned her and our relationship at that point, and when we went our seperate ways I knew that we would have to talk eventually, and we had class together immediately afterward. I walked to the class building alone, and she left our dorm from a back entrance because she did not want to have me follow her again. Understandable.
I texted her from the other side of the classroom which we sat far apart from eachother from the first time that semester. Wheras we used to make jokes about the professor and laugh sofltly constantly, we now were both crying to ourselves. I was the only one who reached out though. When she left the classroom after I texted her maybe 20 times apologizing and wanting to talk to her, I followed her out. She was waiting in the corridor, and as soon as she saw me told me to get away from her and she walked away. I sat back down and cried.
I continued to text her, until the point where she said "I cant do this anymore." She dumped me over a text. We talked later after she talked with her friends for five hours and confidently told me to move on. She told me to fuck other girls. I started begging for another chance. I said fuck it to my dignity I didnt want to lose this beautiful girl who was so sweet to me, and in my mind I was the root of all of our problems and was willing to change. Nothing came of it that night.
The next day was the most toruous. We sat next to eachother "as friends" in her words, treating me like one of the 100 guys she had friendzoned in the past. I gave her a written letter, as I did in the form of love notes throughout the first half of our 8 months together, providing a contract that I thought would fix my "controlling behavior." And also sincerely apologizing for the treatment I gave to her the previous day. I mentioned basically that I would leave her alone when she needed space, wouldnt argue with her on how to spend her time, and 2 others I forget.
She basically tore it up, told me we would never be.
Three hours later she tells me she had been crying through her final exam. (Yeah all this happed the first few days of finals, my grades suffered deeply). We are both pre-med's with actually shots, hers relatively better than mine, at going somewhere. She wanted me back immediately. I was only able to stop talking to her for those three hours of silence after finally admitting to my mother what had happend, to which she told me to leave it alone. Her advice worked I guess.
She had spoke with ALL her close contacts about the situation in the mean time. So now I had, and continue to have, and army of feminists who talk trash about me, her father who says no real man should make a woman feel scared (I would never in a million years hit a woman, I was raised that this is the worst thing a man can do), her brother who also disliked me (we're better now, I think he was more upset about a week earlier when he knocked on the wall signalling us to stop having sex, at which point my gf said "its just my brother keep going," and I did. He was vividly pissed when we walked out of her room), and her still concerned aunt, who lauren thinks of like a second mother. So now everyone feels the true me is this angry controlling feeblish asshole.
I waited the entire weekend before the start of regular finals to drown in sorrow on our owns before I would take her back on Sunday night. I came to her room to get my things, saw all my pictures were replaced on her wall with those of her dads and friends, with one portrait of me from my hs football days still on her bedstand.
I told her, "want me to take this?" And she went frantic. I could tell she deeply cared for me. She cried so much that her tear glands were popping out of her skull. I shed maybe 2 tears after I knew she wanted me back on Friday.
We got back together, had sex immediately, finished finals, and had a pretty good winter break. We made progress converting the thoughts of some of her close contacts about me, but many still are wary that I am wrong for her, or dont deserve her, or whatever for my actions that day. She left for one of the trips I was told I could not go on (which would have helped my resume for med school). Seven days into the trip (today) she tells me she is doubting us again. She has been talking with some girls on the trip she was acquaintences with before they had departed (a club trip), and they have apparently convinced her I will be a controlling boyfriend in the future. Probably because she told them every detail of my lowest day of the year, the one I know I should have been cooler about.
I have talked to people who have noticed I put everything aside for this girl, which I would have no problem doing if I got equal return in effort. Things that would make her life better always were a priority, and I guess at some point she decided I wasn't the biggest one, while I comtinued to put aside nearly everything to be with this girl and to make her happy.
Its ambiguous where we stand now. Its pretty obvious in my mind she does not value me as she used to and will dump me again, so Im think about ending it on my own terms. But I question it from time to time with her acts of love. Maybe a few months, years apart will tell us if we are truly meant to be together.
I want to know from you what you think of this mess. Is it clear that I am to be blamed for the catstrophy to our relationship? Or do you think, like I do, that the situation and my gfs history played a larger role than my actions.
submitted by Davejr8 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2015.01.23 18:33 Throwawayfaraway009 I have a question regarding sex between Me 32 [M] and my wife [31 F], together for 7 years.

My wife and I have been together for around 7 years, married for 6. Her attitudes with sex indicate trouble. This is a throwaway account for multiple obvious reasons.
We were not each other's firsts. She has a low partner count before me, no more than 5, and I know as much about them as I think would be relevant to our relationship. While she has never initiated a conversation about our sexual pasts, she never had any problems answering questions when I would ask. Since I've known her and her friends awhile I think I'd know if her history was different than what she's told me. The sex has never been bad, but has clearly never been super important for her, even before me.
She has always been available for sex with me, so frequency is not the issue. However, that is only because I initiate. If I don't initiate, she will, maybe once a week, closer to once every 10 days, but again, she makes clear that she knows how important sex is to me and wants to make sure that she's holding up her end of the relationship. She's never been adventurous in bed. She is accomodating during sex, but it is very clearly for me. Still, she pretty much wants to follow the same exact script everytime: forplay, quick BJ then missionary. Occassionally I'll take it way off script and she'll usually have a very good time (I can clearly see how turned on she can get when we do this), but will still want to go back to the same old same old the next time and going off script is usually treated by her as a huge chore, at least until we get into it.
She used to climax from time to time in the begining of the relationship just as a normal course of being together. Maybe 20% of the time. But, never any more. This is what troubles me. Coupled with all of the other near indifference to sex, is what it now takes for her to climax on those rare times that she does. Basically, she has to be on top and in control. She wants me to not move and make no sounds while she closes her eyes and quietly does her thing. Basically, I'm just a prop penis for what ever is going on in her head. I can't view this requirement for her to climax as being anything other than very troubling for me-at the best. Add to that how much she dislikes having me climax in her. She would rather have me climax on her than in her as she complains about the dripping aftwards. She will give oral, again out of duty, but would rather I not come in her mouth, and will spits if I do. To be fair, if I push she'll reluctantly swallow or allow me to come in her, but it's never her preference and always something that enough of an issue to ruin the mood.
I'm realtively close to the same weight and physicality (and I'm very athletic and well above average hieght) as when we fist met, and I've always been considered attractive. I'm educated and successful, so nothing along those lines have changed. Prior to her I always had good sexual relationships with women. I'm big enough to be noticably above average. The other women have always responded well, more than once I've known that a past partner was really only in to me for the sex. So while, it is possible she just doesn't like my "technique" I feel fairly confident in my abilities to be in tune with my partner and adjust to where she is physically and emotionally. I'm failry certain she isn't cheating because it isn't hard for me to know where she's at most of the time or who's she with. That's not to say she may not be having an emotional fixation on someone else, but I don't see any signs of that either.
I just cannot understand how my active participation in sex means she won't climax, except that she doesn't desire me, regardless of what else she might feel for me. Otherwise, she seems extremely happy with me.
tl;dr: Wife who is generally uniterested but accomodating towards sex, only climaxes if I do not move, make noise or otherwise interact with her during sex! Can only think that means significant trouble.
submitted by Throwawayfaraway009 to relationships [link] [comments]


2014.08.31 17:53 The_Dollmaker Why is there no real "solo" q?

I am for sure not the only one upset with duo q partner. especally with the i will carry you type of guys. In my opinion it just messes with the system to match equal player. For example (Its all around gold 2-3) :we get a duo q couple with plat 5 and gold 5. while the plat 5 goes jungle the gold 5 is mid. the enemy midlaner is gold 1 kata. I am gold 3 myself and was top vs a plat 5. The lane was no fun at all. I managed not to die to him but he was clearly better then me and outfarming me. The enemy low elo was on support and did a realtiv good job. our botlane got ahead but then kata roamed mid after some kills and got a tripple and carried pretty hard from there on. since i was stuck in toplane with strugeling to survive i could not do anything and noc was not helpfull at all either.
But tthis is not a qq threat. I simply want to ask why riot didnt implement the option that you can choose if you want to q up with duos or not? it doesnt have to be a new q or anything. just a checkbox in the options or something.
At least in ranked it would be really necesary in my opinion.
tl;dr : lane matchups are not even with duo q´s and will decide the game if on carry lanes.
*edit: i mean i am challenger and this was on one of my smurfs ;) *edit2: like i said i dont wanna flame and i dont care about the downvotes, but if you downvote at least write why.
submitted by The_Dollmaker to leagueoflegends [link] [comments]


2014.07.12 20:01 blackstation Can an threatened species alter its (mating) behavior to compensate for population reduction?

Imagine the population of a species getting smaller and smaller, which leads to fewer mating partners being available and the individials left in (realtive) social isolation. Could this lead to an alteration of behavior in order to compensate this, e.g. more mating with existing parnters, increased urge to look for others at greater distances, increase of offspring numbers or lowering the standards for possible mating partners?
submitted by blackstation to askscience [link] [comments]


2013.12.22 22:35 tabledresser [Table] IamA (app developer doing a startup with my freind) AMA!

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2013-12-22
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
Omeagle has basically become guys looking for girls desperately. How will you stop that from happening to your app? Is it something you have considered to be a problem? This is actually a huge concern of mine too, I really don't want it to end up like that. In the future we plan to have filtered receiving, that helps users find who they want to look for more easily. But its really just 2 of us coding, we're kinda limited in resources.
Some initial steps were taking include a reporting system that auto deletes. We launched 2 days ago, I'll definitely be transparent to the fact there was 2 incidents of users reporting and we instantly auto banned the users at the server end. Currently we have 650 ish people, growing now at a user every 3-7 minutes , most messages have been positive and in good fun.
I'll definitely give it a shot Thanks a bunch, any feedback would be sincerely appreciated.
What is something that looks simple to do but was a pain in the ass to code? Good question, I could go on for days. But push notifications stand out. The little red numbers on your apps actual take data to sync. Especially with messaging apps since they're constantly changing (increasing).
How will apps help people survive in the zombie apocalypse? You can trade bitcoin on mobile now, maybe that will help, like maybe you could buy a squirrel carcass for 0.0001BTC... otherwise they're pretty high on Maslows pyramid.
Let's ask the important Questions... is it free? You bet it is :), though since we're on such a shoestring budget, we limit how many time you can collect messages daily to keep down server costs. But chatting is unlimited. We plan to remove the limits later though.
Ads? Nope.
You sir or madam, have just got another person on Airogami Thanks for giving it a shot, hope you like it, well try to make it better from what it is now :)
Have you talked to any VC people or do you want to grow before you present yourself? Or is acquiring VC funds not part of your plan? If not, why? We talked to one fairly prominent VC in Silicon Valley. We had a good exchange in a hotel lobby. He went from being really excited... to not returning my calls or emails. o___o. [Edit:] without warning one day he just stopped*
Right now we're focused on growth and making our product better with feedback, but we're also starting to compile a spreadsheet of possible investors to raise a seed round.
Ok so I can't even begin to understand what you need to make an app like a compiler or something and also how does typing in code translate to a very detailed app and what code are you using. We used Apple's platform called X code it's like a drawing board that you use to make the functioning parts of the interface (or front end) Buttons, textboxes etc. (It's pretty much dragging and dropping images in to place then coding their functions.) Coded in OBJ C.
The backend is written in a Java framework (struts2). This determines all the connections between users, and the transferring of data from device to device.
You have to pay $100 to be a programmer don't you? What?
Ok say I'm an 18 year old male I know little to nothing about coding is it possible for me to learn coding what do I need to have to do this I'm homeless you can either give me $100 or teach me how to code say I pick that I want to learn how to code could you teach me the very basics could you ELI5 how to do this and give me some further sources to set me on my way to someday make my own app? This wouldn't be sustainable for either of us, I also don't have 20 dollars to spare let alone 100.
Haha sorry I guess you didn't read the story about the homeless guy who was offered $100 or the chance to learn how to code he made an app Haha, yeah sorry I didn't. (Much Confuse.) There's a bunch of online resources that are free. The Stanford ones are really good, and the pacing is fairly moderate, also unlike a lecture you can easily rewind, theres more like this one. The best part is they cover fairly specific topics.
Link to www.stanford.edu (theres a bunch on online resources available.)
What did you do before you began with this startup? I worked at as an employee at another startup, my cofounder just finished is masters in CS.
Was it a tough decision / transition? It' was a tough decision, because there's no guarantees of success or even stability. The transition was not that tough thug, we always liked to design and build stuff, we we're now just doing it on our own.
Is your cofounder a good friend? Any tough arguments / fights? My cofounder and I are good friends. He and I are very different thinkers and we come to realized it was good for our process, we have disagreements but we respect each others opinion. We often come up with better solutions in the middle of disagreements.
Financially how are you guys doing this? Did you have your own money saved up (if so rough order or magnitude ), investments from family / friends / Silicon Valley? Our costs are really lean, and we have some money saved up, we do contract work on the side too.
Is the application running on your own hardware, EC2 (or similar), or a PaaS? This is something I've been thinking about for a while. Currently running on ec2.
What AWS services are you using other than EC2? Dynamo, s3,
Thanks for your answer! I wish you guys all the best :) NP :)
How old are you guys? Do you plan to retire at age 25 as multimillionaires like Fuckerberg or what? 23-24. haha, a victory to us is a ton of people liking what we made. So we'll spend a long time refining this. I'd probably not retire as long as i was physically able to work :)
Do you like bagged milk? Also: app actually looks interesting, is there a mailing list to be alerted when it comes out on android. I don't really drink milk, we're setting up a mailing list now..
Do you fap frequently? No actually. (at least a sharp decline in these past months.)
Not sure if you're still doing the AMA, but do you plan to monetize it at all? Yeah still here, eventually but right now we're focused on growing our user base.
I love it. I really hope this gets popular. I've met a few really cool people on here already. Thanks! that means a lot actually, we hope to improve it in V2.
Edit: Is there a way to make it not make a sound? My phone is on silent and keeps sending me alerts. A bit unfortunate when I'm at work ;) Thats actually a UI mistake we made, if you go to where you edit your (in the home menu) profile, there's a gear, and you can use that to turn the sound off.
I've been over at kikpals but haven't had much luck. So far, this has actually been better for me than omegle. Good luck with it! They're almost like karma, but apparently no one seemed to get them we might need to explain them in the app.
What led you to think of this app? (prays it was a random drunken night with interesting story) My cofounder wanted to make a random chat app that felt like IM chat rooms in the late 90s. I thought we should add snapchat like picture sharing to the experience.
Where do you get your ideas? My cofounder got this idea from messing around in various AIM chatrooms in the late 90s, we wanted to create the modern day equivalent of how that felt on mobile.
Cool! Any plans for an Android release? We're working away at that right now :)
I too am an app developer so great job I know how tough it can get! My question is, do you attend school? If so, where? (if that's too personal I understand) I went to school in Los Angeles, I graduated about 8 months ago.
Apart from this post on Reddit, how have you been promoting your app? Mainly Friends, other posts on reddit. nothing much since we're stuck at home building.
I really wanted to try this out but could not get past the captcha verification. "Server busy please try again" constantly. A good thing perhaps? Too many people using it haha. Hey, sorry about that. We had this issue a few times now.
1) trying a different screen name and email.
2) quitting then reopening.
3) deleting then reinstalling the app.
Hope that helps sorry about the wait.
Let me know if any of these work for you.
PS. certain countries experience this problem, like 1 user in Jordan, 1 in Spain, 1 in NZ also had problems signing in. I think this is something in the backend that we have to fix.
Pretend I'm a rich, young, potential investor. Because people are intrinsically fascinated with other people's lives. Putting this experience on mobile means you can get a first-hand account of whats happening in a strangers life at that moment.
I'm a 26 year old male who doesn't know what snapchat or omegle is and I'm perfectly content with that. Why should I care about your product? We also have filters that let you designate the age location and gender of your messages recipients. Imagine getting first hand accounts of life in images and words from anywhere on the map.
Whats its like in the day of a developer? Get up, type stuff, Look at numbers in our analytics software, talk to users. We eat takeout at our desks. This week we've been trying to bring up user engagement by tuning our sorting algorithm so that more users find people to talk to.
I've actually started to answer questions on reddit while I'm on a exercise bike lol.
I graduated last year with a bachelors degree in information systems and other than a little coding in vb.net didnt learn too much on the coding side(to me a major problem with information systems degrees is it has no real concentration area and kind of skips around). I am about to go to a community college to pick up some programming classes and was wondering what your coding background was? I originally started in college so not that much earlier than anyone else.
I also seen that you said you originally worked for another company and was curious on how easy it was for you to find a job with your skill set. It was fairly easy to find contracting because theres a lot of people doing startups now. And most of them hire contractors to avoid full time staff. Which allows flexible workweeks, and some time to work on your own stuff.
Just like to add that until your app comes out on android I will not be able to try it but I think it is awesome that you and a friend took the initiative to do something like this. Hopefully after some more advance classes I will be able to get into something like this. Also thanks for the words of support.
So kind of like Facebook then? People can read information and view photos of whatever other people wish to share? Prospective employers? Current employers? Your school? People who can damage your future depending on what you choose to share? We're more about pseudonyms and anonymity, we designed it so people can easily edit who they are. One user described us as 'single serving friends'. Like a sugar packet or coffee creamer, where you just have a quick conversation with. Users don't even have to use set names, they can change them whenever.
Sounds more like reddit now. If that were the case, I just might offer you a deal if I were an investor. Privacy is a big issue today. If I felt safe enough, I'd support you. Thanks for your cordiality and patience. Anytime :)
Just downloaded your app, seems very elegant and simple (which is a good thing) how long did the app take to program and what programming language was it written in? It took about 5 months, the backend is j2ee (struts2) front end is obj.C (Xcode). Sorry for the wait.
(Xcode obj C front end)
Backend: written in a java framework: j2ee, jpa, struts2.
Who designed the website? I built it off a template, there's some custom CSS though. As well as other tools we built. Edit: If you're interested I can send you the template I built it with.
Are you thinking of hiring windows phone/winRT devs maybe? Maybe in the future, we don't have much budget, currently we're combing through the people we know looking for people to help with android.
I just had a very nice idea for a start-up a few days ago but now struggling how to start it properly. Basically, what should be the first steps if you want to launch a start-up? Is it a software startup? You can pm me and we can talk, though I'm by no means an expert. Are you have issues getting it built?
Hi! I was just going to comment! I love the website design. Is there anyway you can send me the template as well? Thanks! Sure! Link to themeforest.net we modified it a bit to fit our needs.
When do you plan on bringing the app to android? Yeah of course, I'm working on that now, its just the 2 of us coding so its gonna be some time, really sorry about the wait.
Also, is there a reason it seems to override the standard Apple type settings? For example, it doesn't automatically capitalize I or I'm and the autocorrect popups are non-existent. Would be nice to have. Yeah I messed up implementing the autocorrect, it's probably our top bug fix, its a huge headache for me too,
Thanks a lot, and good luck with your start up! Anytime:)
Understandable. How'd you get into App Development? I really just like building things that worked, and I wanted to make something that a lot of people like. (as sappy as that sounds) my cofounder and I take on these side projects as a hobby, its like woodworking or scale modeling to us.
I guess I'm late to the party, but what made you start on iOS over android? We just had more experience in Xcode. We thought we could push it out faster that way and get feedback earlier.
Any chance developing for windows phone? If it really takes off sure, but since its just the two of us we're really limited in resources.
Will there be a release for the windows platform? Possibly if we can be successful/survive. Right now we have our hands full with android.
Let's say in the future your app ends up being worth some decent money. At what cost would you sell the app? Say 1 million dollars or 1 billion! 'bout 3 fiddy. edit:tree fiddy.
In terms of quality how does the BB10 OS stack up realtive to iOS or Android? I actually haven't actually experienced BB10 in person. Do you use it?
that's when I discovered my partner was actually 500 feet tall and from the paleolithic era! Hahaha!
Are you a casual redditor? Kinda. I browse the design and programming sections a lot.
Yeah, I have used the z10 and have found it to be functional superior to my iPhone. I guess in your decision the blackberry ecosystem just can't compete. The majority of our work is building multiple front ends. With 2 people our dev speed is pretty limited.
Stack? (Xcode obj C front end)
J2ee, jpa, struts2.
You wann' be my frand? Anytime... frand.
Have you been trying to find more developers? Yeah, we're trying to build a team actually.
Check out windows azure notification hubs. Make push easy. Will do! they were such a headache...
Suggestion for collect box: make it infinite because I ran out of collects and most of them were 0 :( Sorry about that, we initially intended for them to be more, a lot of users complained about the same thing actually.
Initially our idea was that it would encourage people to write more messages, but didn't seem to work... I'll refresh our server later and they'll be more. We'll remove the limits on the next build. -thanks for taking the time to give feedback.
No, thank you for creating one of the FUCKING coolest apps out there. Am chatting with an Aussie girl right meow. Noice mate ;)
Ya..This looks better than snapchat. Also, I see it becoming a singles-sex-chat app. Thanks! We we're thinking of adding a tagging system to match users. Like there can be #nsfw,so people get matched with others who want to do that.
What is the quickest way to learn how to program ios apps for someone with zero coding skills. Stanford has free lecture guides available, I think there's one exclusively about app development. The pace is actually really manageable. I'll try to look for them and PM you.
Cool app, any plans of a Windows Phone release x_x. Since now it's just 2 of us coding, we're really limited. If it gets popular maybe. Currently our hands are tied up with android.
Not sure if you're still around, but as an early adopter (earlier this week via startups) please support landscape mode with the keyboard and please removed the sound notification override. Sorry about that, the sound thing was unintentional haha! It's actually a UI mistake for us, under your profile menu there's a round gear button and you can turn off the sound in that menu. (We definitely need to make that more prominent...) I think in the next build we're just gonna make it mirror the sound setting on your phone. Landscape mode might be a great option for the messaging actually, personally I like to type like that more.
My phone is on vibrate, but when I'm in the app I get a sound notification when I get messages. Getting a few in a row draws stares in a quiet room. When I'm not in the app I just get a vibration.
Also, it's kind of a lot of push notifications. I get that it's a growth hack to alert me when I have a new opportunity to respond to someone's message, but it's kind of annoying when it's combined with notifications for every time someone responds to my message, which is all I really care about.
Keep getting a server error while entering the captcha Someone else in this thread had the same thing, sorry about that. Some users in the past have had success with either of these: (resort to #3 last)
1) trying a different screen name and email.
2) quitting then reopening.
3) deleting then reinstalling the app.
Hope that helps sorry about the wait.
Let me know if any of these work for you.
PS. certain countries experience this problem, like 1 user in Jordan, 1 in Spain, 1 in NZ also had problems signing in. I think this is something in the backend that we have to fix.
I'll definitely try your app out! I am also planning on developing a few applications soon and it is great to see other startups! Heres to you coming back next month with a few million downloads! :D. Thanks so much! I hope you like it. (sorry for the wait, I was away for a bit) Message me your apps I'll give yours a try too :)
Last updated: 2013-12-26 15:17 UTC Next update: 2013-12-26 21:17 UTC
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2013.06.30 16:35 tabledresser [Table] I am a dinosaur palaeontologist specialising in behaviour, ask me anything

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Date: 2013-06-30
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Questions Answers
My triceratops is constantly trying to mate with my house guests. He's almost full-grown, and his constant humping has become both an annoyance and a hazard. I've tried everything, from obedience training to a spray bottle filled with water, but nothing seems to help. What can I do? Get some eau de rex.
Slightly more seriously and not entirely off topic, I understand this is a real issue for female owners of male iguanas.
How the hell do you study behavior in dead things? "Yep, Jim, it appears Nodosauridae live very sedentary lifestyles, this one in some sedimentary rock appears not to have moved for a few million years." Err see above / below. Not sure where it's gone now, but this came up earlier. Short version, accrue data from lots of streams - tracks, anatomy, brain structure, mechanical testing, logic, comparisons to living animals etc.
Would just like to say this was my dream job as a kid, its so awesome to know there is other people actually living it! Whats it like being in this kind of career as far as personal view and such? How does one try to reason out a long gone dinosaur's behavior? In terms of the job, the good stuff is that you can often be very independent, (flexible hours, limited set deadlines etc.), and yes, you do get to travel around and see cool things and make scientific discoveries. Intellectually it can be very satisfying. On the downside though, it takesyears and years of training and the job market / competition is insane (so I have a batchelors, masters, PhD, 5 years and a postdoc and several years as a lecturer and I'm still only on a year-to-year contract and have chased jobs around the world.). You do it because you love it, but man it can eat into your money / relationships / time. I've seen tons of brilliant people drop out because they can't meet the demands of the job through kids / money worries / partners etc.
As for the main question, it's tricky, obviously. I've just submitted a paper last week about the issue and how we as palaeontologists might do things a little better, but in short we try and put together evidence from living stuff (see the first answer above), and combine that with things like evidence from footprints, we can mechanically test some ideas (are these teeth strong enough to bite into this possible food etc.) and we can use some basic logic to rule in / out some ideas. Things can be limited, but others can be really well supported with good lines of evidence (e.g. carnivory can be rock solid when you the animal in question not only has sharp teeth and strong jaws, but also the bones of what it ate inside the stomach!).
When you are working on theories regarding behavior, are there specific animal groups alive now that you look to for inspiration? There are three main things you want to look for / at when doing this, and they can provide different degrees of information and confidence. First off there are ecological analogues - if the animal in question was clearly a large and terrestrail herbivore, then looking at other big ones might be of use (e.g. elephants, rhino, buffalo). Then you can look at functional analogues - those which have a number of key features in common that link to certain behaviours (so big claws, a strong elbow, enlarged shoulders, and interlocking vertebrae are all key to ant-eating animals). Finally you can look at living relatives of the group (if any are still around, or if not, their nearest relatives) to see what they do. In the case of dinosaurs and pterosaurs, that means birds and crocs for living relatives.
I'm an archaeologist. Does it make you crazy when people ask you if you find mummies? Because it drives me NUTS when every time I tell someone what I do they ask me about dinosaurs. Yep! I once put out a press release for a paper and one places used the entire thing verbatim except to delete the word palaeontologist and in one case replace it with 'archaeologist' and another with 'anthropologist'. Apparently I didn't know my own job as well as they did.
I also feel sorry for other palaeo people as 'palaeontologist' is synonymous for many with 'dinosaurs'.
Did Tyrannosaurus Rex or any of it's cousins have feathers? Yes! The basal tyrannosaur Dilong does, and Yutyrannus does (we have fossils with feathers). I think it's increasingly likely rexy himself had feathers: here's an article I wrote on the subject not too long ago (Link to www.guardian.co.uk.)
What's up with the organic material they've found in broken dinosaur bones? Don't know. As mentioned above, there's some supposed cartilage proteins, but it's controversial and I know nothing about it really. Sorry.
Do you think dinosaurs cared for their young, based upon finding around 'nests'? At least some did for a while yes. I'm not very convinced for any of the evidence I've seen for extended parental care (i.e. looking after the kids for many months or even years), but I'm sure some guarded nests and hatchlings and may have fed them. After all, pretty much all crocs and all birds do this, so we would expect dinosaurs did too.
What kind of 'behaviour' are you able to define so far? It ranges from the very limited (this was a carnivore, it tended to live in plains) to in places quite specific (it ate this species, it was a scavenger, it selpt in this posture). Depends a lot on the group / species in question, the data available and the type of behaviour, but at various times people have tackled (with at least some success) most major areas of behaviour - sleep, mating, raising young, combat, finding food, avoiding being eaten, social behaviour, migration etc.
What kind of noises did dinosaurs make? Hiss like crocs? Sing like birds? Croon like Elvis? Probably all of the above, at least potentially. It's hard to say as we can't easily say if many were more bird-like or more croc-like: birds have special throats that help them make noises but nothing shows up in the bones - dinosaurs could have had them and we're unlikely every to know. Certainly though across the whole range of species I'm sure there was a lot of variation in pitch, volume and style.
What are the chances, if you could even give it, that the T-Rex sounds exactly like it does in the film Jurassic Park? Exactly like? Low. Big deep roar? Reasonable.
I can imagine that the lambeosaurines or parasaurolophus were quite vocal or had trumpeting sounds due to their odd nasal structure. What's your theory behind the big hadrosaur noses and crests? Well they certainly could have assisted in sound generation, but whether or not that was the primary purpose is another issue. Could well have been though given how it links to the nasal passages.
What's the coolest dinosaur fun fact only few people know of? Need to have a good think, it's a cool question. I'll come back to this later if I remember.
Is your name Ross Geller? Nope, though I get that all the time, even now. Though I do have a PhD student who is not only tall, slim and with short dark hair, bur whose name really is 'Ross'. He has way more problems than I do.
How do you handle creationists? Have you ever been confronted by any? I try to ignore them, or give them short shrift (like say I'm not interested in arguing). I've never been confronted (we don't have such a big problem in the UK) but have had some tetchy comments etc. on blog posts. I take my hat off those who do engage and try to educate them, but in general I don't feel I have time to correct the ignorance of people who mostly are not interested in what I would teach them. I'd rather write some more blog posts or do a school talk and teach and audience who want to (or may / can) learn.
What are some common misconceptions about dinosaur behavior? The big one is that Tyrannosaurus was a predator OR a scavenger, when it was both, or the idea that dromaeosaurs (Velociraptor etc.) hunted in packs when there's almost no evidence for this. Some stuff from the 1800s still hangs around too which is a bit odd: hadrosaurs or sauropods lived in water, dinosaurs dragged their tails. There's some annoying tropes in both entertainment and documentaries (Tyrannosaurus fighting Triceratops, every predator stopping to roar before trying to chase prey). I've written a paper on generalise hunting behaviour (which seems to be largely widely accepted) for theropods and how they would preferentially target juvenile animals, but most illustrations / animations etc. of them show major showdowns between a big carnivore and some huge herbivore.
I was going to ask about the T-Rex, actually. I remember reading a few years ago that they thought it might have been primarily a scavenger due to it's incredibly large scent organ (forgot what the name for it was). You said it was both, was it primarily a scavenger or did it have to hunt fairly often? What was it's preferred prey to hunt and what the hell did it every do with such tiny, tiny arms? Well the short version of all this is pretty much no carnivore is a predator OR a scavenger, but both. The real question is what kind of ratio is doing what in, and that we can't really say much about - there's just nothing like enough data. However, we do actually have evidence for both hunting and scavenging in tyrannosaurines (the group that includes Tyrannosaurus) to it's reasonable to infer that was normal. In terms of prey, data on bone bits suggest that they did prefer hadrosaurs over ceratopsians. As for the arms, there's a lot said but not a lot understood I don't think. I'm actually working on something on this myself, so stay tuned (err, in a couple of years) but the TLDR version is not for hunting!
Where can we find that paper??? My hunting behaviour one? All my papers are available here: Link to sites.google.com
You want 'Hone & Rauhut, 2010'.
Would you rather fight one T-Rex sized Microceratops, or 100 Microceratop sized T-Rex's? I don't think I could beat a rex sized Microceratops (that's be a 10-15 ton animal!) but I think I could avoid being trampled largely indefinitely. In terms of going for the win, the mini-rexes would be limited to biting at not much more than knee height, so I think I'd be in with a chance of actually beating them.
You mentioned you studied flying pterosaurs. In my mind as a child, I pictured them similar to large birds of prey - swooping from the skies and snatching smaller creatures from the ground. As I got older, I found it less likely they could stealthily approach anything because of their size and possibly due to their anatomy. How do you figure they hunted? And any thoughts on how talented of fliers they were (say compared to a bat versus a modern raptor)? Also, any interesting bits of information you've concluded about their behaviour that are of note? Three hours in and finally a pterosaur question! :) Well first off like dinosaurs, there was a fair range of size with adults anything from 1 to over 10 m in wingspan, and there were some carnivores, insectivores, some herbivores, some filter feeders and lots of fish feeders. None of them are really built like hawks or raptors and most would have either been going after prey on the ground, or snatching it from the sea (or possibly diving for it). Since their legs are integrated with the wings, they could not have swung the legs round and down to grab things without making flight very hard for themselves (though some bats do it) so may be why they stuck to using their heads as it were.
Jurassic Park aside, what are your thoughts on Jack Horner trying to recreate a 'dinosaur'? Is there much a palaeontologist like you would gain in studying its behaviour? I mean, it's not really what was around 65 million years ago. Well I think the idea (like pretty much anything in science) is intellectually interesting - could we really do it and how? And we'd learn a lot from it about genetics and the evolution of birds. From the point of view of palaeontology and dinosaurs though, I can't see it would tell us very much at all, and yeah, it'd have to be interpreted in the light of birds splitting from the dinosaur line 150 million years ago. So I can't see that it would be of any great use and the cost and effort would be extraordinary.
On dinosaur behavior.. which dinosaur do we know the most about? Actually it's very probably Tuyrannosaurs. In the past it has been over-studied in a sense, but that now means we know more about it than most other dinosaurs and as such we have the most data and analyses to draw upon, and of course that then becomes a cycle of positive reinforcement and we learn ever more about it. There are now hundreds, maybe even thousands of papers on rexy and plenty directly or indirectly on behaviour. It's certainly a prime candidate.
Can a T-Rex love? All jokes aside, how did you get into paleontology and what are your favorite aspect about your work? Probably not, though there may have been strong bonds between some species it's true - look at the lifelong partnerships in some birds.
I got into palaeo more or less by chance - I was interested in, and working at, all manner of different things and a palaeo PhD came up first. If I'd been offered one I applied for on fish behaviour, things might have been very different.
It is always VERY cool to realise you have worked something out / learned something / seen something for the first time ever. You literally have come across something no-one in the world has before. It can of course be a tiny epiphany about some aspect of rib shape or whatever, but it's still cool.
I knew those small armed bastards couldn't feel ever since I first watched The Land Before Time. Thanks for your answer. I love the fact you seem to have been seething about this for years or even decades and am pleased to give you your vindication. :)
What dinosaur is believed to be the most intelligent ever discovered, how intelligent (eg, rat/dog/etc) were they, and what evidence is looked at to figure this out? Troodon is the one always cited as having the largest brain to body size ratio. Now that is a fair indication of intelligence across species, but obviously is still also limited (some birds are ferociously smart despite not having proportionally huge brains). Putting some kind of modern comparison on that though is pretty much impossible - it's hard enough to realistically compare say some monkeys with dogs and birds, so a dinosaur is basically impossible. If you pinned me down though, I'd guess the smart ones were on a par with many modern mammals (dogs, cats, rats etc.).
How agile were large dinosaurs? I find it hard to imagine even big carnivores being fast and agile but I would guess they had to be? Not very, but it may not be that critical. They don't need to be agile, just more agile than their prey. And of course if they have some general advantage (like an ambush, hunting in the rain or at night etc.) then even being less agile may not be an issue most of the time.
If there's one thing you've learned in your work you'd want the public at large to know that we don't know already what would it be? That a colossal amount of knowledge, analysis, discussion and assessment and testing can go into even very mundane papers and small pieces of work and they should not be dismissed offhand (generally). The pseudo-science / anti-science brigade can be ludicriously frustrating with their assumptions that it's all made up / selective etc., but even those with strong science backgrounds can instantly reject things they don't agree with before taking a look at the underlying evidence which is even more irritating.
Not really very palaeontological, but more generally science-y and something I've picked up from most of my dealings with the public and as an educator.
There has been interest in the pigmentation of dinosaur skin. What inferences would you make about a species behaviour based upon its colouration? Depends on the colours of course, and what animal it is in. Naturally we'd take bright colours to be indicative of some form of signalling (often sexual, but not necessarily) and dark or contrasting ones to be good for hiding, but there's a big difference to hiding from potential predators or from prey etc. so this stuff can be hard to interpret. Still, if you combine this with other data (say that bright colours were only on frills or other apparently ornamental structures) you can make a stronger case.
If you had to guess... if the Cretaceous -Paleogene extinction had never occurred, how do you think the evolution of dinosaurs would have progressed? And are there any clues or hints that you have found in the fossils of later dinosaur species which you think may be used as indicators? Wow, that's a cool question. I've though about individual lineages before, but not the whole lot. It's so hard to guess though, but what I would say is that we could expect some major changes after all eventually South America would rejoin the north and (assuming they'd hung around) you'd be throwing together some major carnivorous lineages (big tyrannosaurs, carcharodontosaurs) and Australia when well-separated could have seen some wonderfully crazy evolution.
I can't think of too many patterns that might have carried on, though it would have been intriguing to see what the birds would have done in that context, especially if the pterosaurs were still hanging around.
Some reptiles today have the ability to change their pigment, like the chameleon. Do you think that there were any dinosaurs, maybe even predatory ones, that may have had these abilities? Probably not, it does seem limited to lizards (and maybe a few nakes, but I can't think of any offhand) and isn't in crocs or birds, so probably not dinosaurs. Maybe they could flush things a little with blood, but that's about it I suspect.
I was thinking of avian species in particular, if the extinction event hadn't occured many ecological niches would have remained occupied and diversification would have been restricted. I'll always be curious to know how tyrannosaurs and raptors etc would have developed. The fact that you study behaviour is very interesting, did the revelation that some theropods were feathered have any ramifications for how dinosaur behaviour is interpreted? Well me too, but it's hard for me to even guess. Birds are an especially interesting one as a few lineages went in the KT, so had those not been wiped out, we might still have tons of birds, but very different ones to what we see now.
My daughter (5) is very interested in Dinosaurs and becoming a palaeontologist. Do you have any suggestions on how to foster the interest? What helped you along when you were younger and interested in this path? Thank you so much, what a cool profession! Not how how to suggest you foster it beyond the usual with kids - let her get on with it and offer support and try and get her to some museums and get her books. The vast majority of kids grow out of dinosaurs, but it can be a great introduction to science in general and how we learn about things and can involve some maths, physics, chemistry and biology.
I think what helped me is pretty much that, my mum always had time to take me to the zoo and the museum and I was always getting books on animals etc., though perhaps at least in part becuase I had few other interests.
Did raptors really hunt in packs? I have seen no convincing evidence to this effect at all. There is some tentative stuff which suggests they may have hung around together a bit, but that's about it so far. It's very plausible, but the actual evidence for it is currently severely lacking.
Would they try to eat each other? Well as part of a putative group, no. But would they ever be cannibals, yeah it's likely. Most carnivores will resort to this at least occasionally (they don't generally actively hunt their own species, naturally, but may kill juveniles or stumble across a dead animal) and we have some evidence that at least a couple of theropods were cannibalistic so it's a reasonable assumption that it would happen sooner or later.
If human skeletons were discovered by a different species, after human extinction and assuming no images of humans still existed, the structure and appearance of our ears, nose, eyeballs, and hair would be very difficult to determine, thus making any reconstruction a sort of crap-shoot. Besides the feathered dino's, are there any other theories about what they looked like that challenge what most of us believe dino's to look like? It's not that much of a crap shoot actually as some things are least are really pretty consistent and can be restored with confidence, like the eyes are largely going to fit the orbits of the skull, and external ears are fairlty consistent across higher apes etc. (Link to www.guardian.co.uk so would could do a fair bit.
- words I think in terms of appearances, there could well have been quite a few things like dewlaps, scaly crests and the like that don't match to bones or are consistent so we really can't guess unless we get a great specimen with soft tissues or a restring trace. I'm sure some of them were utterly bizarre and we'd struggle to guess their real appearance from the bones alone.
When you've been out on sites, what is your, 'this will not end well' moment? In the field, oh yeah, the big ones being the time the police tried to arrest us for illegal digging somewhere in Asia (we weren't illegal, but had been reported as such by a local authority for not paying the bribes they wanted), and the time in China the drivers had moved the care from where we left them and not told us. Stuck in the desert short of water and no way of finding the cars, not pleasant.
Do you study modern birds for your research? Not in the sense of sitting down and doing a formal research paper on bird behaviour (though i would like to), but I do use bird behaviour data and information to inform my work all the time. Some birds carry out behaviours very similar to what we would predict or have for dinosaurs and so use that to inform our ideas.
Wait so you think Jurassic Park is a badly made movie, or you think it's a bad depiction of dinosaurs? I think the dinosaurs were fine for their time but dated now, I (personally) don't think the film is a great piece of cinema.
What is the strangest dinosaur behavior that you have found? I've not found that much in terms of direct fossil discoveries (those are super-rare) but I was very pleased with the stuff I put together to support the idea of sexual selection and signaling in dinosaurs and how many of their big features (crests, humps etc.) were likely used in display.
Is it possible to really clone an entire dinosaur simply by using DNA from its bones? Well we don't (to my knowledge, oddly enough I don't deal a lot with genetics) really have the technology / skills to take a DNA strand and go to a live animal, and we don't have any dinosaur DNA at all (some protein has allegedly been fund, but that's very controversial and it's not genetic). Even if we found some, we couldn't do a lot with it.
This may not be the right place to ask this, but imagine a visiting alien species finds human bones on Earth long after we've gone extinct. What would they be able to tell about human society? Maybe a bit if they have relatives to work with, the other apes would tell them a fair bit. And large brain size does tend to correalte with sociality. Evidence of people living together (either houses/ cities etc.), things like footprints, or even mass mortality events would imply we spent a lot of time together. Depends on quite what evidence you find really.
I know this debate is probably still raging, but do you think dinosaurs were warm blooded or cold blooded? Err... Endothermic or ectothermic if you want to be sassy about it. Well there's all kinds of everything in there: endothermy, ectothermy, heterothermy, homeothermy and (winderfully) gigantohomeothermy. It's a pain / nightmare trying to sort it out but I think there's no one simple answer - it's hard to imagine a 100 g alvarezsaur in the desert had the same physiology as a 10 ton hadrosaur in the arctic circle or a 50 ton sauropod. Between size, environmental temperature, the difference between ancestral (i.e. the 'cold' reptiles ) and following (i.e. the 'warm' birds) and other odd things (like hibernation-type tactics) and of course coverage of things like feathers, there must have been a fair bit of variation. That said I think, on balance, most dinosaurs had a realtively high and stable temperature most of the time. Quite how they managed that is another issue.
Can we say that birds are dinosaurs as in Link to xkcd.com. Oh yes, absolutely, 100% Birds ARE dinosaurs, and therefore what we normally call dinosaurs (as indeed I've done here) are more properly non-avian dinosaurs.
How much creative powers does a Paleontologist advisor have in projects they are tied in with? I assume it depends on the scale of the project... So say, how much room did Horner have for Jurassic Park? He wasn't able to push Dinosaurs to full accuracy, even in the first film. Was it due to lack of trying, or did he really not have enough power on the design and behavior of the dinosaurs? In terms of media stuff it can be very frustrating. I've only done some limited work, but have several friends who have been very involved in projects and just complain that they are utterly ignored most of the time. That said, some researchers do seem to not care about accuracy and just say "yeah, fine" to whatever goes in front of them. It's annoying on both counts, some people don't give them the right advice and those that do have it ignore or overruled. On one book I kept complaining about the terrible reconstructions and was basically told by the editor to shut us as they couldn't afford the time / cost to make the changes, but if they'd listened in the first place and used a decent artist the problems wouldn't have been there.
How accurate is this? My research would be still more awesome if that was in any way accurate.
Are there any groups of creatures from the Mesozoic era that you feel have been under-researched? Most of them really. That sounds facetious, but you look at the rate of work on dinosaurs (literally multiple papers a day and on average one new species a week) and we really don't even know that much about them yet, and we've poured a lot more into dinosaurs than many other species. Answering that more properly, I have a soft spot for rhynchosaurs and would like to see them get a bit more attention but I'm not sure they are a particularly poor group any more than many others (placodonts, metriorhynchids etc. etc).
So say in a slightly different universe where our ancient ancestors evolved while dinosaurs were still alive and the dominant species on earth, do you think humans would have stood a chance of surviving (assuming lets says we had our basic language, huntings tools/techniques and lived in small societies) or would we have been greatly outmatched and driven to extinction? I think the earlier hominids might not have made it, but a true, early H. sapiens might have scrounged out a living somewhere, we're so damned adaptable.
Has there been clear evidence of there being symbiotic relationships between dinosaur species, like the shark and remora? None I can think of. Would be hard to tell a lot of the time of course, but we may find something like animals repeatedly sharing burrows , or special footprints that always co-occur which would at least suggest it.
In Jurassic Park, velociraptors are portrayed as being fairly intelligent animals (able to figure out how to open doors, trick its pray, etc.). Were any dinosaurs actually that intelligent, and how can we know anything about the intelligence of dinosaurs? Already more or less done this with Troodon further up the thread.
Link for anyone looking: Link to www.reddit.com. Thanks! Forgot to do that and feel a bit like I'm firefighting with all the Qs coming in. Appreciated.
What's your favorite dinosaur, and have you discovered any species yourself? I really like Amargasaurus. It looks dead funky and has a cool neck and odd evolutionary history. I've not discovered any bones that represent a new species yet (well, I found something I think is new, but my colleagues disagree :) but it's still being freed from the rock, so the jury is out) but I have named or helped name a number of dinosaurs: Zhuchengtyrannus, Limusaurus, Xixianykus, Anchiornis, Linheraptor, Shaochilong and the pterosaur Bellubrunnus.
Are Paleontologist's re-evaluating the phylogenetic position of Sciurumimus? While I think it would be neat for full coats of feathers to have sprung as early as Megalosauridae, I can't really imagine it practically and still take the theory with a grain of salt. I'm not too convinced its a megalosaurid and the fact that the only good specimen is a juvenile doesn't help. It's certainly plausible things that basal had feathers but I want to see something better. I assume people will revise / add to the analysis but I'm not directly aware of any right now.
I really wish I could have gone to study Paleontology, but Medicine ain't bad. Hearing stories like that of Mike Taylor, Horner, and even George Blasing makes me feel confident that I have a chance even after I finish my current studies though. You can always contribute in some ways - you don't have to find fossils or write papers. There's tons of people acting as volunteers in museums, or who help researchers file and analyse data, etc. Everything helps the fields move forwards.
Did bipedal dinosaurs bob their heads as they walked similar to how modern birds do today? Someone asked me this a while back and I'm sure a biomechanics researcher has done something on this, but I can't remember the answer and I failed to track down the work (assuming it exists and I'm not making it up). As I recall though, I think the answer is likely no for most of them.
Do you have any personal theories about dinosaur behavior that evidence may not be able to fully support at this time but you'd love to see proven in the future? On the flip side anything you suspect will be proven wrong in the long run about behavior? Ohh, great one. Though sadly I can't think of anything right now. I did suggest once that spinosaurs might be super-generalists, able to deal with just about anything and so being a bit of a jack-of-all trades. I did have some tentative evidence for this, but not much and I'd love to know if I was right (or wrong for that matter, the alternative, to my mind, is more odd). I think the mad leap for everyhting to be super-social, or a brilliant parent or living in packs is exaggerated (it may be right, but the evidence is rather lacking a lot of the time) and needs to be at least reassessed a bit.
Last updated: 2013-07-04 08:45 UTC
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